Young Men's Roundtable - Registration is open

 
Young Men's Roundtable is a parenting opportunity for fathers and sons (5th-8th grade) that will be starting up in just under a month.  As a staff, we are excited about the opportunity it brings to our families and to our young men.  Registration is currently open and can be found on the Men's Roundtable site.     Young Men's Roundtable is a four-week opportunity for our young men to learn about God’s design for authentic masculinity in a relevant and age appropriate fashion.  It is designed to equip your young men with some tools and language for Godly decision-making and healthy choices.  It is also an opportunity for dads to engage their sons at a deeper heart level on some real issues, and to lend strength to the father/son relationship that is so vital to this season of a young man's life.


Date: Tuesday Nights, April 17th - May 8th
Time: 7pm - 8:30pm
Location: Pelham Campus - 2801 Pelham Road, Greenville, SC 29615

Daddy Daughter Dance

Our world today is sending messages to our young women that are tragically far from the truth.  Beauty is defined only as what you see on the outside, and self-promotion is hailed as the way to get what you want out of life.  Fathers are equally confused about how to lead our growing daughters with strength and how to protect their hearts from the voices that threaten their unique feminine design.  Men's Roundtable is hosting an event that will give dads and daughters alike an opportunity to enjoy one another and be reminded of the beauty of God's design for each of us. 

This year's 4th Annual Daddy Daughter Dance promises to be a night to remember!  It is a perfect opportunity for dads to date their daughters and set the bar high for the future.  Dads are encouraged to start the night off right on a dinner date with your special girl (or girls), then finish strong with desserts and dancing at 7:00 PM at Larkin's Sawmill (directions).  Email us any questions you have and let us know how we can make this night perfect for you and your daughters.  And please feel free to invite anyone you think may be interested in joining us.  Can't wait to see you there!


Register online at www.mensroundtable.org/daddy-daughter-dance-2012.

Come join us at a new location:

Larkin's Sawmill at North Main
Friday, April 27th, 2012
Dance starts at 7pm

The Beauty of Her Heart

One of the things that I have found to be challenging in raising a future women is teaching and training a healthy view of beauty.  Since a very young age comments have been made by very well-meaning people about my daughter's appearance.  Things like:  “You are such a pretty girl”, “She is so cute”, “What a cute bow”.  Yes, she is cute but that isn’t the thing I want her to focus on.   Proverbs 21:30 says  Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,   But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.  As a mom, I want to focus on characteristics that will remain.

In the Ezer curriculum, we read that God creates women with a unique capacity to reflect His beauty and invite delight. 

“When we come to the nature of femininity, we find that God’s writing is not just in the sky, on the earth, and under the sea, but all the way down to the female DNA. Biblical femininity is uniquely designed to reflect God’s heart of invitation.  Women give voice at an essential level to God’s yearning desire to promote delight, welcome refuge, and catch the eye towards beauty.  Something about her person-hood is stamped with a desire to be looked upon with delight.  This can turn in on itself and become vanity, self-worship, or even exploited.  Nevertheless, in its original creation and redeemed condition, the inviting impulse beats right from the heart of its Creator - God.”

In an attempt to help teach balance to this topic, our family has used the following concrete, hands-on activity to start a dialogue around beauty and its right place in a girl or women’s life.

Admire the beauty created by God

Start with a heart shaped vase, filled with pretty cut flowers.  Admire the flower’s beauty, talk about how they are created by God to be beautiful.  Enjoy the way they add delight to the day, appreciate God’s workmanship in them. 

Recognize that the beauty fades

After the beauty has faded away, the heart remains

As the flowers continue to die and fade, take about Proverbs 31:30 and how beauty fades.  It will be evident to show how the flowers are not the same as they were and that this is true about our beauty.  Once the flowers die, the heart shape vase will be all that remains.  It will be a concrete way to share that we want to focus on the heart, we desire to appreciate that God has created us to reflect His beauty.  We should have a healthy respect that we are His workmanship, we were created by Him.  But that we should not allow it to become an idol, that we value our appearance over our heart.    

Enjoy this Valentine’s Day with your daughter.  Celebrate the beauty around you and remember to focus on her heart and her unique capacity to reflect God in a way that is uniquely feminine and uniquely hers.

- Lee Anne Cavin, Children's Ministry Director

Future Women Conference: One Dad's Reflection

This past weekend, my wife and I attended the Future Women Conference along with almost 500 other parents, grandparents, and ministry leaders. Like most parents, we are not just looking to raise “good kids” who do not get into trouble, or even ones that know lots of answers to Bible questions. Instead we want to parent them in a Gospel-centered way that equips them to evaluate their own hearts, their relationships, and their culture in light of who God is and who we are in relationship to Him.

As a father, I also realize that I am accountable for how I shepherd my family. I did not grow up in a family or culture that thought this way, and it is a life-changing experience for me to be a part of a community that takes equipping the next generation, seriously. That all sounds lofty and altruistic as I write it, and in practice it is work...which requires a lot of thought and creativity in the moment. Sometimes I feel like I do that well, and other times I fail miserably.

There were several great take-aways from the conference, but one of the most significant “ah ha” moments for me came when Ed Sweeny said we need to take time to say “yes” to our children. I have felt that before, but could not have put words to it. There are days that I feel like all I say is “no,” followed by discipline, followed by more sayings of “no,” with a few “you know you are not allowed to do that” comments sprinkled in. I knew something did not feel right about that as it was happening, but if you asked, I could not tell you what it was. All I knew was it felt like I was beginning to exasperate them (Colossians 3:21), but did not know how to fix it.

Saying “no” is easy...especially for Dad. We carry a lot of weight, we are tired, we are also (thanks to the fall) predisposed to be passive, feel free to fill in your favorite excuse here. I realize as I am typing this that the days I am most short-tempered and most likely to be agitated are the days that I am least engaged with my children. It takes time and effort to say “yes.” It means I am going to have to close the laptop, not finish that email just yet, turn off the TV, and engage. I will have to ask questions, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions. Sometimes it is as simple as getting off of the couch and laying in the floor for 30 minutes while they use me as their trampoline.

“Yes” requires thought and creativity. It requires time and effort. It requires my best when I am feeling my worst. It requires me to evaluate the request and redirect it in a better direction.

Is “yes” always the right answer? No. But “no” is easy and I use it way too much.

- Rob Allen, Children's Ministry Staff

For more information about Men's Roundtable, click the image below.

 

Future Women Conference: One Mom's Reflection

Several hours after our daughter was born six years ago, my husband looks at me and says, “This one is different.” We’d had a whole year and a half of parenting a calm, compliant, easy-going little boy, and realized early on that this “sweet little girl” was going to be a whole new ball game.

So, when Grace announced they were hosting a Future Women Parenting conference, you can bet we were the first ones to sign up. Teach me how to raise a kind, loving, thoughtful girl? A teenage girl that will dress modestly, won’t gossip, or be mean to her “friends”? A teenager we will actually like? Yes, please, I would like the recipe for that.

I wanted to know exactly what to say when my 5-year old comes home from school and says, “Mom, I don’t like playing with Suzie because I don’t think she’s as pretty as Sally.” I needed answers.

And, honestly, I didn’t get all my questions answered with a simple, one size fits all answer. But, here’s what I did get:

• We need to first understand and embrace femininity as it was created by God. Only then can we parent our girls with purpose and direction.
• Our girls have been hard-wired by God to be relational. “Femininity is uniquely suited to find and meet need in the context of relationship.” It’s why, when they are playing with matchbox cars, my son will race them and fight with them, and my daughter names them and makes them into families. God created that, and it is good. I need to remember this when she is 12 and wants to text with her friends all day long.
• Modesty is about displaying your femininity in appropriate ways. I’m not exactly sure what to do with this, but it’s the best definition of modesty I’ve ever heard. And I’m guessing that’s going to be a big issue for us in a few short years.
• Her core sin is autonomy. It’s why she asks me (often), “Mom, why does DAD have to be in charge of our family?” And how important it is for me to answer her clearly and fully, and often. And know that she’s not just asking that out of curiosity. There is a sinful, rebellious heart inside her that wants to be in control of EVERYTHING.

So, maybe I didn’t get all the answers I was looking for. But, if I did, would I really need God as much? Would I look to Him, as the creator and author of my daughter’s story for help? Would I ask Him for wisdom in raising my daughter?

Maybe, I got more answers than I realized. Maybe, you did too.

- Braeton Beres, Children's Ministry Staff 

For more information about Ezer, click the image below. 

 

Register Now for Future Women!

 

Don't miss out on your opportunity to attend our Future Women Conference and become equipped with a theology, language, and practical application of what it looks like to raise the next generation of women!

Registration closes Wednesday, November 2nd, at 5:00pm!

Click here to register.

We have over 300 people signed up for far! Thank you to everyone who has signed up!

Future Women Conference

On November 4th & 5th, we will be hosting the Future Women Conference. We will be providing a language, theology, and practical application for what it looks like to raise the next generation of women. This conference is for anyone who is involved in some capacity with raising girls to learn what it means to reflect God in His image as a women, through the core capacities of nurturing, partnering, and inviting. We encourage all parents, grandparents, teachers, and leaders of girls and young ladies to attend this event.

Register for this event on our Future Women page.

Future Men, Future Women

Two years ago, in October 2009, we hosted an event called Future Men. This event provided a language, theology, and practical applications of what it looks like to raise up the next generation of men. We had almost 400 parents, grandparents, and leaders attend. 

From our Men's Roundtable teaching, we taught the Biblical definition of manhood to be...

A real man is one who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects God's reward.

We also walked through 3 main stages of going from boys to men:

1. Authority. God's authority needs to be established, as well as the authority He's delegated to parents, teachers, and other leaders. When an authority tells a child to "do this," he needs to be taught to obey quickly, completely, and happily.
2. Responsibility. During this stage, your son needs to learn to "handle his deal." He needs to be challenged and respected.
3. Partnership. By this stage, you are no longer standing over your son, but you are standing alongside him.

You can view several video discussions that emerged from this event on our YouTube channel (search "Future Men") Several that might be of interest to you:

• Developing Leadership in Boys
• My Child Respects Our Authority But Not Others?

___________________________________________________________________________

 

Coming up on November 4th & 5th, we will be hosting the sister event to Future Men, appropriately called Future Women. Here, we will be walking through the language, theology, and practical applications of what it looks like to raise up the next generation of women. We encourage all parents, grandparents, and leaders of girls and young women to attend this event. Save the date, and stay tuned for more information about this event!

All Pro Dad

All Pro Dad is a great website with lots of tools and insight for fathers.  (See iMom for a related site for mothers; both sites are programs of Family First, out of Tampa, Florida.)  The goal is to help Dads do their most important job better.

You can sign up for the Play of the Day, "the most popular and most read daily fatherhood e-mail in the world."  Each email will have brief direction and inspiration, as well as links for additional reading if you so choose.

There is also a database of Top 10 lists, such as:

• 10 Specific Compliments to Give Your Children
• 10 Ways to Talk to Your Children about Sex
• 10 Ways to Earn the Trust of Your Wife
• 10 Ways to Be Financially Secure

Let us know if you signed up by leaving a comment here, to encourage others to do the same.

5 Books for Dads of Daughters

My daughter (and oldest child) Hannah just turned 9 last month.  Growing up with just an older brother, I had no idea what it was like to have a little girl in my house.  So, I have searched for instruction and direction.  I regularly seek out men with older daughters, I listen to teachings such as A Man and His Daughter (Men's Roundtable), and I read books about parenting in general and about parenting girls.

Here are some recommended books for Dads of daughters.  The first two books are recommended by Justin Holcomb in his post called Daughters Are a Gift from God. The second two are books that I've read and enjoyed, and the last one is on my bookshelf waiting to be read.

1. Why a Daughter Needs a Dad: 100 Reasons
2. The Love Between Fathers and Daughters
3. She Calls Me Daddy
4. How to Be Your Daughter's Daddy
5. Bringing Up Girls

What about you?  Have you read any of these?  What did you think?  Any other books or resources that you'd recommend to a Dad of a precious girl?

--  Joey Espinosa

Why Gender & Sexuality Matter

In our Preschool programming, we are in the midst of our series on God is Relational, as we teach about Adam and Eve (see this post about the leader preparation material).  Grace Church has been teaching more and more about biblical masculinity (see this blog post, for example) and femininity (we have been developing and rolling out some newly-developed curriculum, in stages).

Here is another blog post on why gender and sexuality matter, on The Resurgence blog.  Some key points:

• "God does not create a generic human being and then add gender; rather, he creates a human being either as a male person or as a female person."
• "[M]en and women should be thankful for the gender with which God created them. . . .  Gender differences should be celebrated."
• "[T]he biblical portrait is that marriage is between a man and a woman who commit themselves to living in a monogamous relationship.  Sexual intercourse is to be enjoyed within the bounds of this covenantal framework and is designed for several purposes, including pleasure, procreation, a guard against immorality, and unity."

Read the full article here.

Equipping Men

At Grace Church, we are starting another session of Men's Roundtable, beginning October 14. This ministry has been instrumental for hundreds of men over the past 9 years, helping them have a definition for Biblical manhood and understanding what it looks like to live that out.  This year, we are encouraging middle and high school students to attend -- with their fathers, their small groups, or with other friends.

Do you want some other resources that will help you understand and lead men and boys?  Here are some other resources and articles:

1. Future Men.  We had an equipping event last fall, with almost 400 people in attendance.  You can find a summary of the event, as well as links to the audio, here. Additionally, you can find some video answers to some questions we received (the first four are here, and another one is only on our YouTube channel). 
2. Student Ministry.  Read about what was taught on the high school retreat last fall, on our Pastor's Blog.
3. Books.  Looking for some reading?  Some books we recommend are Shepherding a Child's Heart (for general parenting principles), Bringing Up Boys, and Big Truths for Young Hearts (to help you teach theological principles to your children).
4. Going along with one of the core principles that was taught at the Future Men event, read this article about how crucial it is to be under authority.  If your young son cannot learn to willingly and happily submit to authority now, he severely struggle to submit and lead when he is older.
5. Here's another article, published as an editorial in the Washington Post, called "The world is filled with boys who can shave."  Men are called to be creators and producers, not mere consumers and complainers. 

Do you know of any other resources to help equip young men?

Is Your Son a Bully?

Here's another video of Bill White answering a question submitted at our Future Men event.  He explains that bullying is not leading; it is actually a form of passivity, which is the core struggle for all men.  We need to teach boys that "there is a greater reward . . . by engaging in a loving matter," not by being either passive or controlling. 

Watch the full video here, and see the other related videos here.

Shepherding Our Future Man Sender

After talking about our vision and adventure for our family as a whole, I also posted our thoughts about shepherding Hannah and Elijah over the next 10 years.  Last but not least, I will summarize our thoughts about Sender.

In 10 years, Sender will no longer be some high energy, "crazy" 3-year-old; he'll be a crazy 13-year old!  Like a typical third child, he desperately wants to have the same freedoms as his brother and sister.  Our job as parents is to only give him the freedoms that coincide what he is able to be responsible for.  It is too easy for us to "open the funnel too wide;" we must remember that this will only lead to frustrations, for him and for us.  (On the other hand, by watching and imitating his siblings, he has picked up on some things faster than they have.)  There is no doubt that our three children have very different personalities and gifts.  Therefore, we have been intentional to discuss each child's strengths, God's call for them, and what applications we intend to implement over the next year.  I've already gave my thoughts for the other 2, and in this post I will outline our ideas about Sender.

Strengths and Gifting.  The name "Sender" is from a the Hebrew form of Alexander, which means protector.  (Alexander was the name of my Jewish grandfather, who died when Hannah was just 6 months old.)  Since he was born, I have prayed that he will always be a protector of others.  Well, it seems that his physical attributes and personality may fit those prayers.  At every age of development, he has been bigger than either of his siblings, and he is the most rough and tumble of our three kids.  For example, just today, he was jumping from the couch to the ottoman to my back as I was laying on the floor.  Also, a couple of months ago I accidentally kicked him in the head with a soccer ball; he was sent sprawling, but quickly got up and told me to do it again.  He is outgoing, loves to play, and seemingly has no fear.  And he cracks us up with his slapstick humor, like running full speed into closed doors.  Like a typical preschooler, he struggles with being obedient.  This, of course, stems from his sin nature, but is made worse by us giving him too many freedoms.

God's Call.  I've already outlined a core definition of manhood in the post about Elijah.  I won't repeat it in full here, but I will give the language that we use for biblical masculinity.

1. Reject Passivity
2. Accept Responsibility
3. Lead Courageously
4. Expect God's Reward

Applications.  Here are some ways that Joanna and I are trying to help Sender become the man that we think God wants him to be:

1. Begin to use the language of what it means to be a man (as given above).  He won't understand it all, of course, but it's important for him to begin hearing the language. 
2. We need to be more consistent in disciplining him.  He needs to learn that God wants him to obey and follow, and it's up to us to be the primary agents in this.  Sender can never be the leader God wants him to be unless he learns to submit himself to authority now.  Watch this video, from Pastor Bill White, from a question we received at the Future Men event (October 30, 2009). 
3. Going along with this, we need to give him clear and narrow parameters and boundaries.  At this point in his life, he needs virtually zero options.
4. Help him grow in understanding of who God is, through consistently teaching him from God's word.  This can be done with a good storybook Bible, through discussing our Preschool Curriculum (which focuses on the attributes of God), and even just non-structured talking about a biblical perspective on life (as described in Deuteronomy 6). 

Thoughts or questions?

--  Joey Espinosa

Homemaking Internship

Carolyn Mahaney has written a great article called Homemaking Internship (you can also view and print the article as a pdf on that site), published in the Journal for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.  She views marriage as a sort of "profession," for both men and women, with skills to be learned. As opposed to most professions, "we aren't forbidden from marrying simply because we aren't prepared."  We believe that parents are entrusted by God with the responsibility to prepare their children for adulthood.  Since most people will be married at some point in there lives, this is not an area that should be overlooked.

As I previously discussed in Shepherding Our Future Woman, Joanna and I are intent on helping Hannah become the woman that God wants her to be.  In particular, Joanna wants Hannah to know "the joys of being a wife, mother, and homemaker. . . .  We must tell our daughters of the sacrifices that homemaking demands -- but also of the unsurpassed rewards it offers."

What are some specific homemaking skills that we can teach our daughter, so that she can care for and help her family?  It is a very diverse list!  (And please don't think that I'm saying every woman needs to be an expert in all these skills, any more than I believe that every man should know how to grill a steak or change the oil in his car; I can't do either.)

1. General management and organization of the home
2. Nutrition and health
3. Decorating capabilities
4. Childhood development and education
5. Finances and budget

I encourage you to read the full article.  Please let me know what you think -- comments, criticisms, and questions.  What other skills does a homemaker need?

--  Joey Espinosa

Created in God's Image

Our Fusion Director, Leah Pinckney, wrote an insightful article based on the recent teaching for 5th & 6th graders.  They have been discussing what it means to be a man (boy) or woman (girl) who has been created in the image of God (Genesis 1:26-27).  They used the following core callings:

• Men pursue, provide, and protect
• Women encourage, help, and care

The article not only explains these core callings, but there is also some practical examples of how this can play out for children in elementary and middle school.  I encourage you to read the full article.

Additionally, this topic will be touched on (but on a more basic level) this fall in our preschool curriculum.  We will start the school year with an updated, four-week series on God is Our Creator (based on Genesis 1).  Immediately following, we will have a new series on God is Relational, where we focus on Adam and Eve, as we study Genesis 1-3.  The four topics will be:

1. Adam and Eve were created (male and female) to reflect God and His glory
2. Adam and Eve were given work and roles to carry out
3. Adam and Eve rebelled and sinned, after being tempted by Satan
4. Adam and Eve received consequences for their sin, but God had a plan to redeem them and all mankind

We're excited about this series, as we come alongside parents by helping to lay a foundation of truth.  You can read related posts by clicking on the label "gender."

Shepherding Our Future Man Elijah

As we did with our "future woman" Hannah, Joanna and I discussed our vision and desires for our two "future men," Elijah and Sender.  In this post, I will summarize our thoughts for Elijah, and in a couple of weeks I'll discuss Sender.

We are trying to picture what Elijah will be like in the year 2020.  He will be 16 years old, so instead of being a skinny little boy (he's very cute, but don't call him that!), he could be a hairy, deep-voiced, driving teenager!  Of course, while we don't know what the next 10 years may hold, we do want to shepherd and train him according to how we believe God has gifted him (Proverbs 22:6).  As I did for Hannah, I will outline his gifts, God's call for him, and what applications we plan to implement over the next year.

Strengths and Gifting.  The name "Elijah" means Yahweh [the LORD] is my God.  It is a bold statement, especially in this post-modern culture, and since he was born, I prayed that he would always know and stand for the truth about  God.  He is a good, deep thinker and absorbs the nuggets of theology that he is taught.  He is great at math and loves science (maybe he'll be a chemist like his Daddy).  Being a middle child, he shows good flexibility in either playing with his older sister (they could play together all day and then want a "sleepover," where they'll talk for another hour or two), or playing with his younger brother (trains, puppet shows, or just plain wrestling).  Much like his dad, he struggles with feeling the need to be right and technical about everything; he and I both have that major pride issue.  As a typical middle child, he hates being overlooked and left out.  He is probably the most emotional person in our family (when he's not overly-serious), and sometimes has a hard time controlling his emotions when he gets hurt (physically or emotionally), but he has definitely grown in his self-control.

God's Call.  It's awesome to know that God created Elijah in His image.  As I've learned from Men's Roundtable and other teaching at Grace Church (sermons, Future Men, etc), biblical masculinity reflects God's nature.  We have a core definition of what biblical manhood is, and how we think it applies to Elijah.

• Reject passivity.  Men, as a whole, tend towards passivity.  God created us to lead and to engage the world and people around us, but we tend to slide towards passivity.  Instead of avoiding responsibilities, we must run towards the battles in life (see I Samuel 17:48). 
• Accept responsibility.  As a man, Elijah must learn to own burdens and responsibilities, to wear that "pack" so to speak.  He needs to be able to recognize what needs to be done, and then act on it (like seeing that the recycling needs to be taken out).  We must help him learn that he must respond when we or anyone speaks to him, and to have self-control before he acts (he is responsible to control his emotions and actions).  Hard work is a part of being a man.
• Lead courageously.  In the concept of leading courageously, I like to imagine an army commander leading others in the field.  Leading may cause us to lose our life (at least metaphorically), and will at times cause us to fear, but we must move forward despite our emotions.  I want Elijah to know that his life is not at all about him, but all about serving God and loving others, no matter what the cost.
• Expect God's reward.  Men who read these first three definitions (which overlap with each), may wonder if it's worth the cost.  I want Elijah to know that even if he pours his life out, even if he is abused and taken advantage up, even if he gives up all his desires, that the end reward is worth it.  God's eternal rewards far outweigh all of life's hardships (2 Corinthians 4:17).  Like the apostle Paul, I want him to be poured out, to keep the faith, and receive God's reward (2 Timothy 4:6-8).

Applications.  Here are some ways for Joanna and I to help Elijah become the man that we think God wants him to be:

1. Explain and help him learn to apply the core definition of manhood.  Joanna has worked on some images to go along with the 4-part definition, and I plan to share those in the future.
2. Help him learn to work more, like helping to make dinner, cleaning-up after dinner, being responsible for our recycling, etc.
3. Help him learn and apply God's word.  I already have him drawing pictures in a "journal" about what he learns each week in his Preschool Small Group.  This summer, I want to help him start coming up with a specific application for each week as well.
4. I have been pushing on him to be a model and a leader for Sender.  I call out a lot of his behavior based on how it affects Sender.  When we were potty-training Sender, I made it Elijah's responsibility to remind Sender to go to the bathroom when he woke up.  I want Elijah to feel a burden of responsibility for others, and this can start with his brother.

Thoughts or questions?

-- Joey Espinosa

Daddies and Their Daughters

Going along with a couple of articles from earlier this week, here is a great post from the Grace Student Ministry blog, called "Daddies and Their Daughters."  Written by a member of the Student Ministry staff who has 3 daughters, there is a great reminder that . . .

A daughter will view her relationship with her Heavenly Father in a similar way as she views her relationship with her earthly father.

Read the full article here. 

Shepherding Our Future Woman

It’s hard to believe that Hannah will be 9 later this year. In light of this, Joanna and I spent time earlier this year discussing our vision for our children, where we would like them to be over the next 10 years and what we need to do to help get them there. (This went along with our discussion on Adventure for our family.)  In 10 years, Hannah could be a freshman in college!  We discussed things like her strengths and gifts, God’s call for her as a reflection of His image, and what specific applications we can implement this year.

Strengths and Gifting. The name “Hannah” means grace. Since she was born, I have prayed that she would be a giver of grace and a blessing to others. Even in a first year of life, a mom we respect told us that Hannah would be sensitive and come to know Christ at a young age; she was right on the money. Hannah loves being at home, and is very motherly. She practically single-handedly taught Elijah to read, she loves to help take care of younger cousins and other friends, and she figured out on her own how to change Sender’s diaper. She is very creative, whether in arts and crafts, or with the colorful outfits she puts together. Like her dad, she struggles with being “wise in her own eyes” (Proverbs 3:7), and with pride and self-sufficiency. But overall, she is very compliant. She is OK at math, and mostly likes science when it involves projects. Sometimes (again, like her dad) she struggles to communicate her feelings, as she bottles it up inside her.

God’s Call. God created Hannah in His image. That is, in her femininity she has been created to reflect His nature. We at Grace Church are delving deeply into the issue of gender. From over 8 years of Men’s Roundtable, we have a solid language of what Biblical manhood is. Over the past year, leaders at Grace Church have focused more and more on honing the language of Biblical womanhood. We’re not there yet, but for the moment, we’ll use the language that Joanna and I came across years ago.

• Embrace God’s calling. We must help her know that she was created with unique gifts that she must use to bless God’s kingdom. We feel that part of this involves nurturing the next generation, possibly through children of her own, but definitely through the local church.
• Reject the world’s temptation for significance. We want her to know that her value must never depend on material things, which is what the culture will tell her. A focus on clothes, money, friends, and even status will never satisfy her or glorify God. We want to disciple her to pursue modesty, and to respect and respond to authority. 
• Expect God’s reward. Above all, she must learn to trust in Christ. In life, she will experience hardships, unkindness, and even abuse. We must not aim to merely protect her from these things. Instead, we must help her to know that in all these hardships, she should rejoice, knowing that in suffering she has the privilege of identifying with Christ. Furthermore, instead of receiving temporary earthly rewards, she gets to receive eternal rewards from the One who died for her sake. Our goal is to shepherd her towards a gospel-oriented life, with her perspective centered around the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus.

Applications.  Here are some things for Joanna and I to do this year:

1. Explain to her the core callings and definition of a woman, and why we think they are important.
2. Increase her responsibility around the home, so that she can acquire useful skills for life (load dishwasher, help make dinner, clean up after dinner, laundry)
3. When she does her ROAD Map Bible study, I will start to give her less guidance
4. Give her more opportunities to serve others, such as in our Preschool ministry, HOG Day, etc.

Thoughts or questions?

-- Joey Espinosa

Future Men Videos

For those who missed it, here's a full playlist of videos that were done in response to questions from our Future Men event last October.  Bill White answers the questions, with Scott Mozingo as the moderator. Some of the topics below are linked to previous posts, where a summary is given. The videos cover these principles:

1. Stages of Manhood
2. Developing Son's Leadership
3. Dealing with a Lack of Male Leadership
4. Respect for Authority

Any other questions?  Comment below (it can be anonymous). And make plans to attend our Transitions Parenting Conference on April 16-17.