Kairos Internship Reflection - Caleb Phillips

"How was your summer?" "What did you learn this summer?" "What was your favorite part of the summer?" These are all questions being thrown at me left and right as the best summer of my life draws to a close. My summer as an intern at Grace has been, as I describe it in my response to the above questions, "beyond words." I couldn't begin to put into words an adequate description of what I have learned and experienced this summer, but I am going to do my best.

I had no idea what to expect when I arrived at Grace on Pelham May 21st for the first official day of Kairos. I walked into a room of more than 20 people, knowing only 3 of them, then sat down behind a notebook and stack of books. I was completely clueless on what was about to hit me. I was quickly made aware that I would be serving with Children's Ministry, Fusion, AND 24Seven. After receiving multiple calendars and schedules from my ministry leads along with several meetings, my first day was over. The first week of my internship felt like pouring the Atlantic Ocean into a five-gallon bucket.

Ten weeks later, that first day feels like yesterday. The task lists have been completed, and the summer calendar has come to an end. My feelings were mixed as I thought about moving out of my host home and returning to college life. This summer, I learned more about myself, the church, and about the Lord than I could ever have imagined possible in a ten-week span. Through my experiences this summer, I have learned who I am and who I am not, who God is and who He is not, and what the church is and what it is not.

I found out very quickly this summer that I am even dumber than I thought I was! I can remember walking out of class after hearing Bill White or Matt Williams teach, and having nothing left in the tank to even begin my day. My brain was fried from having everything I believed in questioned and challenged, but it only took a few short days to realize how great of a blessing this was. I realized how important humility is to the learning process through the classes and teaching. The idea of me being under authority and being transparent played a huge role in the formation my view and striving towards humility.

My view of who God is has been transformed as well throughout the summer. I realized it's not in my job description to understand everything about Him. He is greater than I try to make Him to be, and His love is beyond comprehension, so I should praise Him for choosing to love me instead of trying to earn or understand that love. Nothing I do can rid God of His supreme sovereignty, and that gives me a peace beyond measure.

In one of the first Kairos classes of the summer, Jeremy Keever talked about what the Church is and what it isn't. My idea of the Church (little "c" and big "C") had been formed or deformed by my Southern Baptist upbringing and the Southern Baptist University I attend. It was refreshing and encouraging to be immersed in a gospel-centered and biblically oriented church with such a strong heart for community. These three aspects were absent from any church I have ever been a part of, and are my foremost motives in pursuing my membership at Grace.

I am thankful for Grace Church and the people who made this internship possible. I am excited for the momentum gained this summer, both in my life and in Grace Church, and I am looking forward to what God has planned for the future.

- Caleb Phillips, Children's Ministry Kairos Intern

Kairos Internship Reflection - Katie Horton

One of the questions I get about once a week is, "How is your internship going?" I know that in a couple of days, that question will be a past tense question, and I'm just going to have to embrace that. But for now - I never really  know exactly what to say. Don't get me wrong, the internship has been fantastic and life-changing for me. But how do you describe to someone a time in your life where the Lord absolutely rocked you? It's been hard to describe to others the growth and changes that have occurred when I am still trying to figure it all out myself. It hasn't always been easy to learn what I have about myself, and the areas that I need to grow in, but it's great to walk through that in a safe environment.

I guess the best way to share this with others is to pick a few things that I have been learning. I know that I spoke to this to some degree in an earlier post, but I feel like I could easily spend hours telling people about my internship.

From Children's Ministry, I learned the importance of doing behind the scenes work. In the past, most of my ministry and service has been up front and visible, something I have loved. This summer, however, my role in Children's Ministry was the opposite of that. I spent my days in the office cutting paper and prepping for bin stocking each week. It took me a while to realize how important this part of ministry is. It was good for me to see how much prep-work has to be done in order to have Children's Ministry run each week.

From Student Ministry, I learned that stepping outside of my comfort zone is a good thing, and that I need to do it more often. I'm an Early Childhood Education major, so hanging out with children is something that I am familiar with and am gifted in. Hanging out with middle- and high-schoolers, however, is a completely different scenario. As uncomfortable as it was for me at times, I quickly learned that Student Ministry is something that I love and have a passion for. Those students taught me far more than I taught them, and demonstrated a passion for the Lord that encouraged me greatly. I'm excited to get to hang out with them some this year!

I learned the importance of really digging into and studying the Word. Typically, when I would read scripture, it would be a surface level reading and I didn't really have much of a desire to understand the context behind it. However, in class we have learned the importance of understanding scripture in its context. I've learned that in order to enhance my understanding and application of scripture, I should first look at how the original audience would have interpreted it.

From my co-workers, I learned about community and how necessary laughter is. If you haven't spent time with the interns yet, it's a shame. They are some of the most hilarious people I have ever met, I ten to take myself and other things way too seriously, and need people to make me laugh about situations and life, and stop stressing about things. I quickly learned that it was hard to take yourself seriously around them, and that I needed to lighten up and laugh some more. At the same time, however, it's not just fun and games. In class, I learned they are also incredibly wise and knowledgeable about the Bible. They taught me so much and really helped me walk through what we were learning, and what I was going through outside of work. I can't explain how grateful I am for their friendships, and I truly hope that they will continue as we all go our separate ways. They have been incredible community to me, and a huge blessing this summer!

On a practical scale, I learned how to work under different types of management. I have never had a "real" job before where I report to people and have assignments that I turn in, and so the whole experience was an adjustment. Because I was split between two different ministries, I was switching gears between different managing styles and environments. I had to learn how to multi-task, prioritize, and work in different settings. There were times when this was difficult for me because I like to zone in and focus on things, but I know that in the real world, that is not always going to be the case. It was good for me to gain some practical skills in a setting where people are gracious and are willing to walk through things with me.

I am so thankful for the experience that I have been able to have this summer. I know the things that I have learned about scripture and about myself are things that have changed my life in a way that I can't even describe. Not only am I leaving with knowledge, but I'm leaving having gained a community and a church family. As sad as I am about Kairos ending, I know that I have been well prepared to head out into the world to minister to others and spread the Gospel of Christ.

- Katie Horton, Children's Ministry Kairos Intern

Kairos Internship Reflection - Michelle Phillips

Being a Kairos intern this summer has definitely changed my life in more ways than one. I had certain expectations coming into this internship that came with their own set of worries and concerns. As early as my first full week working at Grace, they were exceeded by a level I never thought possible. My first day was very intimidating seeing all of the tasks and meeting eighteen other fellow interns, who would soon become some of my new closest friends I hope to stay connected to for years and years to come. I have made so many memories and changes in my life that have given me a sense of excitement for what the Lord has next for me.

To debrief my summer with Kairos, I want to share what I have learned about the Children's Ministry and the staff that works there. I have a great appreciation for what the Children's Ministry staff does. Before beginning my internship, I could never imagine the hours these people put into the children at Grace. From an outside perspective, the staff seem to have tons of fun, including doing fun skits and making crafts with your children, but it is so much more than just that. Although the Children's Ministry office is one of the most fun offices I have worked in, it is also a very hard-working and intense place. One of my main projects this summer was doing a lot of organizational and administrative tasks to get ready for the Camp Grace Summer Camp for 3rd & 4th graders. I couldn't imagine that the staff did all of the work I was participating in. It took me hours to create a simple driver's list, only for it to get revised seven times, even the day of camp. This was very frustrating to me, but seeing the way the staff handled this and similar situations was very humbling and encouraging. I was constantly reminded by the staff's words and quiet actions that we are here working to glorify our Almighty God and spread His Word to the young hearts here at Grace Church. As for me studying Elementary Education, I hope to incorporate this work ethic and love for my future students. All in all, it has become very apparent to me how important and vital of a role the Children's Ministry and its staff at Grace and any church plays in its foundation.

A few other things I learned throughout the summer about myself and in a work-related situation are organizational stills, to trust and obey, and a goal of furthering my dependence on God. Firstly, to tie into the many tasks I was involved in this summer, came a necessary skill of organization. I am a pretty neat person all around, but working in the Children's Ministry required a new form of it. I had several tasks from people with due dates that I had to manage and balance. It was very helpful to see the staff work. The way they managed their time, relationally, in the office, and with children was very helpful for me. Secondly, I learned something I was taught before - to trust and obey. I was faced with several challenges this summer I never thought I would have to face, and I was forced to trust and obey God in those times of controversy. No other source could help me with my trials except my Lord God. A verse that a good girl friend shared with me this summer was Isaiah 54:5, "For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven's Armies is his name!" I found a great amount of comfort in this verse because it gave me a reminder that God is eternal and will never leave me, so He should be my focus and the One I place my trust in and submit to. Finally, another area I learned a great deal about this summer that goes hand-in-hand with trust is a goal I have of completely being dependent on God. I know that it is hard to accomplish, but I am excited for my journey. A verse I have clung to dealing with this has been Philippians 4:6-7, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I have learned that God is ever-present and there is no need to try to be independent because He is forever.

As a whole, my experience with Kairos has been awesome. I have benefited from it in ways I never thought I would, personally and spiritually. Kairos has been a huge blessing to me. It has taught me all of the things I spoke about earlier. Also, I feel like I have an entire new look on God and the Kingdom I never knew before. The lessons we received in our Kairos classes have opened my eyes to huge concepts I hadn't known before. So many of the lessons were extremely practical for me, such as Matt Williams' lessons on gender and woman's role in the church, and Bill White's teaching on the Gospel. I feel like I have several challenges waiting for me when I go back to school in a few weeks, but I know God is in my life and He is a shield for me to use to protect myself. Also, I feel confident in what I have learned, and I hope other people around me can be blessed through my words, like I was through so many people this summer.

I could never pin point my favorite thing about my Kairos experience, but I do know that I have made some relationships that I could not have gotten elsewhere and gained knowledge that is unique to this opportunity. Also, I got to do one of my favorite activities, which is interacting with kids. I love to be involved and get to know and love on kids. I feel like that is where God wants me to put a lot of time and energy throughout my lifetime. I am so unbelievably thankful for the way God has been moving within me and my fellow interns. It has been a daily reminder for me that God is active, constant, and a light into darkness. I would encourage anyone considering participating in a Kairos internship to do it! I have not been disappointed at all. I have had experiences that you cannot experience anywhere else. It is obvious that God is present here at Grace Church, in the staff, its members, and its community.

1 John 4:4, "But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world."

- Michelle Phillips, Children's Ministry Kairos Intern

What To Expect This School Year

As a mom and a teacher, I do look forward to a new school year. Its arrival brings a mixture of excitement about the possibilities and a little fear of the unknown. Even though we can’t anticipate the surprises this year will bring, there are four things that every parent can expect and embrace in order to help our children succeed:  

Successes and failures.
Children will experience both success and failures of varying magnitudes. It is a parent’s responsibility to maintain a big picture perspective. We shouldn’t be too puffed up about successes or too deflated by failures. Failure is often our greatest teacher and motivator. What a blessing a parent can be by coming alongside a child as he experiences the ups and downs of life. In his book Running the Rapids, Dr. Kevin Leman illustrates adolescence as a wild raft ride over white water rapids. School is sure to introduce a few bumps and turns along the ride. A child needs to know that mom and dad are in the raft with him, no matter how rough and crazy the ride becomes.

Teachable moments.
Education is more than learning multiplication tables and interpreting literature. It is preparation for life. Take advantage of every opportunity in your child’s life to mold his life skills and character. God is always loving and faithful in our lives – even through bad teachers, pop quizzes, embarrassing moments, hurt feelings, and playground fights. Pray that your home is a safe haven where you can apply God’s truth to every situation in your child’s life. 

Conflict – among parents, children, teachers, and peers.
Don’t be surprised when you experience it. Conflict is inevitable, but as Christians we have Biblical guidelines and examples to follow in dealing with it. May our children see Jesus in us as we train them to work through conflict with grace and wisdom.

This year will end.
Since a school year is a finite amount of time, it is perfect for setting goals. Think about what amazing things you or your children could accomplish in one school year. Maybe it is breaking a habit or developing a new one. If you begin with the end in mind, it helps you run your days instead of letting your days run you.

So it’s time to gear up for battle and prepare for success. What should my focus be for the school year? Can I really begin with the end in mind and succeed this year? Yes. Here are my favorite 5 P’s: 

1. Provide peace in your home. 
2. Pray, plan, prepare, but do not panic when plans fail. 
3. Prioritize and let some things go. 
4. People > productivity. 
5. Problems are merely opportunities for growth

- Susan LaFlam

11 Ways To Break Through Ministry Discouragement

We all run into it at some point in ministry… discouragement. Sometimes it creeps in gradually, and sometimes it hits us like a brick wall. It could be a particular situation that causes it, a season where things are tough, or it could come from nowhere. However, it is universal. Every person in kidmin will face discouragement in ministry. Here are eleven ways to fight to overcome discouragement.

1.  Get back to the basics – It is quite common that my feelings of discouragement in ministry often come in seasons when I have neglected the basics in my relationship with God. If you are feeling discouraged, ask yourself how consistent your own walk with God is. Are you reading the Word? Are you praying? When is the last time you sat in big church for service?

2.  Get Away – Not forever, you have to come back. But sometimes if you can just take a brief break, you can regain perspective. Sometimes discouragement is a sign that you need rest.  Honor that and take a break. Go to the beach. Go to the mountains. Go to Target. Go somewhere and don’t think about ministry for a little bit.

3.  Get Friends – Often discouragement in ministry can cause us to feel very isolated and alone. Resist the urge to hide away. The more alone you are, the more discouraged you will feel. Take a friend to lunch. Don’t have friends?  (That’s probably part of your problem, by the way.)  Get some! Figure out someone that you kinda like and reach out to them. Do something fun.

4. Get to tomorrow – When times are tough, this is the statement I say to myself, “Tomorrow will be better, if not it is a day closer to being better.” There are seasons in every ministry. Some are awesome, some not so much. The good thing about seasons is they come to an end. Hang in there.

5.  Get Real – Not everything is bad. It may feel that way, and there may be lots of bad things happening. But not everything is bad. Write down a list of the “wins”. Write down everything that you’ve seen God do in your life and in your ministry over the past six months. The reality is that God is faithful and is doing great things. Don’t let discouragement hide those from you.

6.  Get organized – Sometimes our discouragement feels greater because our world feels like chaos. We are trying to juggle way too much, and it is overwhelming. Take some time to organize yourself. Write down what has to be accomplished, and prioritize them. Create timelines for completing projects. Don’t let the lists overwhelm you, either, but use them as tools to help you feel in control and to see light at the end of the tunnel.

7. Get perspective – There are a lot of things that are out of your control. Those things are often extremely discouraging. You’ve heard the serenity prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference” Acknowledge that you can’t control it all, but you serve the God who does. Let Him carry the stress.

8.  Get past the past – Dwelling on past decisions, events, or mistakes will only increase our discouragement. You can not go backwards. Learn from the past, fix what you can, and then move forward to what God has next. Revisiting the past repeatedly rarely is healthy.

9.  Get ice cream – Ice cream makes everything better. Really, it does.

10. Get on your face – God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. Isn’t this what we teach the kids? It is absolutely true for you too. God has called you to ministry. That is precious. Your calling is precious. Get on your face and cry out to God to heal your heart and to strengthen you for what He wants to accomplish.

11. Talk to me, let me know – Let us pray for you, with you. Let's see if you are carrying too much of the load physically, spiritually, and if you are serving in your strengths.

Blog post by Jenny Funderburke on ministry-children.com. (#11 added by Grace Children's Ministry)

Kairos Internship

My internship is halfway over.

I finally came to that realization last week. In reality, it's something that I've known, but haven't let myself think about because I avoid dealing with things I don't particularly like. Part of me is overwhelmed when I think of how much is still left on my task lists, but most of me does not want to embrace the fact that at some point this will end, and I will head back to the real world. Well...as real of a world as life in college gets. Since we're halfway though the summer, I wanted to take some time to share my heart with you, and the ways in which the Lord is working in my life.

Kairos has been amazing. Matt Kelley said it well when he said that the internship was the staff taking what they've learned in 14 years and instilling it in us in about 2 months. If you know anything about the staff at Grace Church, that's a whole lot of wisdom, knowledge, and experience to absorb in a short period of time. My internship is split between Children's Ministry and Dioko (student ministry for 7th-12th grade at the Powdersville campus), which has taught me a lot about balance and prioritizing work. Thankfully, there's been a lot of grace, as I have a lot to learn about working and doing ministry.

I came into this internship thinking that I knew a lot about this Jesus guy and what the Bible says about Him. It took about twenty minutes in my first Kairos class to realize that I really don't know what I am talking about, and that there's a whole lot more to the Bible than I can even fathom. It's been incredible for me to take the knowledge that I am learning in the classroom and see how it plays out in my day-to-day life. These classes have instilled a hunger to know more about the Lord, and a desire to study and dig into His Word. I am so excited to take this knowledge and all the tools I am learning, and apply it to life back at school.

Working at Grace has taught me a lot about loving others, about the value of being intentional with the people you work with. I have been blown away by the amount of love and support both the staff and members of Grace Church have shown me. I have loved getting lunches with staff members, getting a chance to do life with them, and absorbing all of the wisdom that they have. I get to work with so many strong women of God, and have grown so much through observing how they live their lives. I have also been grateful for the members of Grace Church. The fact that people genuinely want to sit down and ask me questions about my life (which, by the way, is pretty boring) has meant so much to me. The way that the members of Grace have loved me has taught me so much about what it looks like to be in community, and what it means to love each other as brothers and sisters in Christ.

While I am sad that this experience is halfway over, I am excited. I know that if the Lord has done this much already, then there is no telling what is in store for the next five weeks.

- Katie Horton, Children's Ministry Kairos Intern

Serving In Children's Ministry

My husband and I have had the privilege of serving together in our elementary ministry for the last few years. It has been such a blessing to our family. We are encouraged when we see God at work in each other, as we the gifts God has given us on display.

We are better parents because of the volunteers we serve with. We are all diverse in our seasons of life, and it has been a blessing to be able to share wisdom others have shared with us, and to hear stories of those ahead of us. This helps us stay the course and dream of where we're headed with our own children.

We are better leaders because we have been able to serve alongside those giving their lives away in a way that is refreshing and compelling. We've been able to hear stories from other leaders about what God is doing in our body, and how He is transforming our church family to be more like Him.

We are also able to reinforce truths with our elementary-age daughter in a way we could not if we were not a part of the elementary ministry. When we leave the campus, we have a deeper appreciation and understanding of the curriculum and truths taught that day. We are able to encourage her in these truths, and fill in the gaps where she may have missed something. We feel blessed to be equipped to lead her in this way.

Serving in Children's Ministry has been a privilege and a blessing for our family. How has serving impacted your family?

- Sara Fowler

Sara currently serves as the Camp Grace Big Group Drama Coach for the 11:15am service at Pelham Road, and her husband, Stephen, currently serves on the 11:15am drama team for Camp Grace.

Summer Time

Welcome to Vacation… my mom and dad would always say these words to us when we started vacation from school. I have continued this with my boys. I was so excited to have the boys out of school this week. They were excited too, but not as much as I was. I bet most parents felt the same way.

Summer time is a challenge. We need to stay on a schedule, but also relax and have fun at the same time. I cherish the moments that we get to have as a family. Each day is full of possibilities. I know that some of our days will be rushed, and they have been already. But I know that if we take the time to be in the moment, God will reward us with precious memories. This can be hard with many things that need our attention, but what is more important than reaching, connecting, and loving our families?

We need to stay grounded and firm in our faith to continue to speak truth to our children. Some days are a lot harder, and other days are full of joy. 

Just because we are on vacation doesn’t mean that all other responsibilities are put aside. I praise God for Summer time. I look forward to seeing Him work. May we find blessing at the end of summer and not regret.

- Kathryn Sanders, Powdersville Campus Children's Director

Being Carried By God

I just want to share a little of my life with you. I cannot remember a time that I have felt so carried by God as I do right now. There are many many things going on... some up and some down but in the midst of it all, I can only SHOUT PRAISES TO GOD!!! I want to share a little about a medical situation I have been dealing with for over 10 years that I have been HEALED of. For the past 10 years, I have been dealing with episodes of stroke-like effects, which come in the form of slurred speech, numbing on the right side of my body, being disoriented, and needing to just lay down quickly. I have been diagnosed with complicated migraines. Ten years ago, when it happened once or twice a year, it was not that enabling, but the past few years have been much different. The last two years, they have come on every month and last for several days, or even the whole month, overlapping to the next episode happening. It has really been hard to function as a wife, mother, friend, co worker, and such because I am often needing to lay down and am out of commission. I must admit, I have been quite frustrated and asking God, “Is this the new normal, am I just going to have to learn to live like this?” I was angry about the fact that I wanted to be so much more to my family and others, but my body would not allow me to. I would push through it, often dragging my leg around trying to keep up with what “I” thought needed to get done. My favorite verse ever is Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” I have been clinging to this verse, knowing that I need to have hope in a God who does heal, be patient in HIS time, and pray with confidence that one day I would not be suffering from complicated migraines.

Well... last month a friend of mine told me about a new Neurologist that I should go see. If you know me at all, you know I do not like to go to doctors and have pretty much given up on them. This time, in my heart, I was excited about seeing this doctor, which I truly could not explain. I had the Holy Spirit heart beating fast feeling that this time it was going to be different, and it was. He put me on a Magnesium compound, changed my diet a little, and within 24 hours I WAS HEALED!!!!!! I have not been able to really feel the right side of my cheek for almost 3 years now, and within 24 hours that came back. Hormones, stressful situations, and lack of sleep would bring on an episode quickly, and during the last 6 weeks I have dealt with all three of those and no episode. I want to shout from the mountain top that I have been healed, and I want all to rejoice with me the power of God!!  I did have an MRI and an Echo last week, just for my doctor to have a clean slate for me. The MRI came back great, but the Echo showed a hole in my heart. Normally that would freak me out a little, but because God is carrying me in so many ways right now, I am rejoicing that they found it and excited about it getting fixed. I do see this not as a stumbling block, but as another step in my healing process!! To be honest, this has been an awesome 6 weeks, not just because I feel healed but just because I see God working in me and through me in so many ways. I know that I have walked through this for the past ten years to fully experience this season of truly seeing God’s hand at work in my life. He has given me more strength lately than I ever knew I had. He has allowed me to confront things that I NEVER would have before. My fears have turned to trust, and I just have faith in a way that I have not experienced in a long time.

I thank You God for who You are, and for loving me in ways I will never understand. Thank You for Your hands that continue to carry me, and for Your power that continues to give me strength.

- Ivy White, Preschool Development Coordinator

Role Models, Examples, and Mentors

This is a job that we all have, whether we want it or not. We are role models, examples, and mentors. We have the opportunity to mold, change, encourage, and inspire people.

I went on a date with my youngest son, who is six, this past weekend. I love having those precious moments. He acts all grown up. He wants to pay for our meal. He remembers all of his manners, even opening my car door. I always get overwhelmed with love in these moments. It is easy for me to be focused on setting the right example for him on our date, because I am thinking specifically of modeling what I hope that he will look for when he is ready for the step of marriage (not anytime soon!) This is just a moment in time.

There are so many other times (basically all day) that I am still being a role model, example, and mentor. How do I react to my boys when I am trying to work on a project and they are arguing? Do I use my words to encourage others when I am tired. Do I put my husband before other things? Do I give freedom to fail? How do I handle disappointment and frustration? Do I serve others or do I want to be waited on? These are just a few questions that are answered everyday.

I all of these examples, my boys are watching me. They are looking to see how I will react. What am I showing them? Do my actions match what my words say about God?

I know that I fail in so many ways, but I also know that God has given me a job. Train up my children. Training isn't just changing their actions. Training involves sharing my heart with them. I need to be honest with them. I need to apologize a lot. I want them to know that I need forgiveness. I need to share with them when I am disappointed and angry. I need to share what God is teaching me. I need to listen...Be still...Allow God to work through me.

Proverbs 31:26, "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." Lord, I need Your wisdom. I need You to speak through me because there is nothing good in me. Lord, help me to be faithful in my instruction. I need Your strength, because many days, I just don't have the strength to correct and instruct anymore.

There are so many different stages and seasons of life, so each stage and season will look differently in being a role model, example, and mentor. Ask your mentors and those in your community how you are doing in the stage that you are in.

- Kathryn Sanders, Powdersville Campus Children's Director

Shepherding Children Through Sibling Rivalry

As a parent, one of the biggest stresses can be sibling conflict. If your house is like my house some days it seems my children simply wake up in order to pick fights. How do you get it to stop? If you aren't in the room when an argument happens how do you decide who is in the wrong? If they are bickering over a toy or which TV show to watch, how do you make a decision on who "wins"? Is one of your children constantly coming to you to tell on another?  

Parents without a doubt need to be hands on in managing sibling relationships. After all, we are God's gift to our children in providing order, stability, and discipline. Without parents providing these things our homes will be a chaotic place for our children to grow up. When a child grows up without that order, stability, and discipline insecurity breeds and grows in the heart of a child. This certainly breaks God's heart.

But, how do we enter in to sibling conflict without feeling like all we do is referee? You know what I mean...yelling, "Don't hit your sister?!" Or, "Give your little brother the toy - he had it first!" Or simply spending your family time trying to figure out who was right and who was wrong in an argument you didn't see? Are you tired of putting out fires?

Here is my suggestion - we have to help our children learn to communicate with each other. Communication is a key to any conflict resolution. How do we do this?? By forcing them to work out differences and disagreements with each other. Simply put, instead of you doing all the talking and settling of the argument - make them TALK to each other and do it themselves - with your help, of course.

Refuse to let your children make you a referee. It is obvious we are not to let them be physically or verbally abusive to a sibling (or a friend). But, at the same time don't let them storm off in anger or cry uncontrollably in an argument. All of these reactions to conflict come from a sinful heart. All of these reactions are trying to dictate and control their situation. Whether they are hurtful or not to another doesn't make it better or worse. Instead, do not let any child get their way until they are able to talk with the person they are in conflict with to come to a mutual decision.

If we will stick to it as parents and refuse to be a referee we will cultivate a home where our children listen to and prefer others and ultimately create sibling FRIENDSHIP instead of rivalry. Could there be a better hope for our family than that? Imagine the blessing it would be not only at home, but for our children in any other relationship in their life if we can teach them how to talk things out. How blessed would their future marriages be? Remember, we want to mold our children's hearts to where they can humble themselves and consider others. Stop refereeing and FORCE THEM TO TALK!

- Will Bouton, Downtown Children's Ministry Director

What Was I Thinking?

As some of you know, Betsy Zimmerman (Preschool Coordinator) is having a baby in June, which has led her to transition off of the Children's Ministry staff. When Ed was asking if anyone else on staff would be interested in taking over her role of bin stocking, it sparked my interest. Not having any idea of what goes into making bin stocking work, I volunteered. Boy was I in for a treat...what was I thinking?

No, it wasn't all bad. We just completed our 2nd bin stocking for this year, and it was amazing! I couldn't believe the number of "regulars" who come to volunteer for 2-3 days, multiple times a year. It was also really cool to see them pouring into each other and talking about things going on in their lives. Most people don't know, but bin stocking is just another form of community within our church. It's a great opportunity for stay-at-home moms or empty-nesters to spend time with other ladies while giving themselves away by serving the church...a win-win situation!

I was able to "shadow" Betsy to learn all of her tricks and techniques while getting to be a part of this wonderful community. It was some good practice, for sure! Having been my first bin stocking ever, I have a lot to learn. There is a lot of preparation and volunteer "woman-power" that goes into bin stocking, but I'm up for the challenge!

- Nicole Snyder, Children's Ministry Administrative Assistant

Colorful Journey

All through school, and even after college, I was a strong, confident young woman. I was known for public speaking and theatre. Once after college, I coached high school kids in drama and storytelling for state and national competitions.

I was a strong communicator in person and in writing. I prided myself for these talents. I drew life from being able to get up in front of hundreds of people and make stories come to life. I loved the challenge of memorizing scripts in a short amount of time. As far as I was concerned, this is who I was and always would be. I'd continue being on the front lines, entertaining my audience and teaching others how to do the same. I was on top of the world. If anyone had warned me of my over-confidence, I would have replied, "These are talents God gave me and I'm just using them to their full potential."

Looking back, I realize I was putting my full identity in the talents God had given me, instead of allowing them to draw me closer to God and using them as an act of worship.

Little did I know that throughout the following 11 years, I would have some talents taken and some altered dramatically. My hold on what I thought was my identity would be shaken violently, and God would start to slowly show His daughter where her true identity rested.

Throughout these past 11 years, I've started treatment for infertility (7 years ago), have had 4 surgeries (one being a breast cancer scare), and watched my husband heal from a horrible accident that took months of physical therapy. Medications and hormone treatments took my ability to focus and communicate thoughts in the moment, making personal and group conversations unsettling and my verbal communication struggled/struggles immensely. I keep having to trust God that He will help me, and am learning to be patient with myself...and not "beat" myself up after thinking about the things I should have said or things I should have responded to. It also left me disoriented in crowds where once I used to thrive. I felt like the shell of the woman I once was.

In reality, God was forming me with gentle hands into the woman He wants me to become. I know it's a lifelong process, but the last 11 years, and especially the last 7 married years, have been amazing. How? God has reminded me that He wrote my story, He adores me, and He is walking me through it. With each shattering event, He has been there with open arms to fill and show me where my true identity lies. In Him, I'm His daughter and I'm to follow, trust, and obey Him. No matter my circumstances, that fact never changes.

Some of my talents/confidences are slowly being restored, but even if God withheld them I can still go on living a full and confident life in Him knowing this...'very thing, that He who started a good work in me will continue it until the return of Jesus Christ.'

- Valerie Gutschow, Preschool Big Group and Quest Coordinator

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day!

Have you had one of those days when you feel like no one else understands? I had one of those days recently. I was at the end of my rope. Trying with all of my might to just get through the day. I spoke with a dear friend, and she was such an encouragement to me! She shared Truth that I had lost my focus. She was so right! I had gotten mired down in the "poor me" attitude. Satan had attacked in numerous ways, and I had let my guard down. My attitude and reactions were a reflection of my very bad day. I was miserable. I was relying on me, not God.

My hope and faith are in Christ alone! Why is it so hard for me to remember this during my "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days?" I am focused on me. I know that it is for my good that I go through struggles, but if I stay focused on me and not God, I will continue to have "terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days" during these struggles. Not to say that I won't have bad days, but my hope should be in God. Having faith that I will come through the struggles. I always have the choice of accepting or rejecting what God is teaching me. My life will reflect these choices.

I am so thankful for the willingness of my dear friend to share with me. I did fall that day, and will do so again. But God is faithful! He pointed out my sin, and wanted to change me to bring Him glory. We all go through struggles, and will go through more. We are called to share with one another to encourage each other. Not everyone has the same struggles, but someone has had the same learning experience as each of us. We are not alone!

Be encouraged today that someone has felt the way you have. We always have someone further along in life to encourage us, and someone coming in the future for us to encourage on our life journey. Know that we are an example to others. God is preparing us for His plan. 2 Corinthians 4:17, "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." What is your affliction today? Are you willing to share with others what God is teaching you?

- Kathryn Sanders, Powdersville Campus Children's Director

Preschool Curriculum: Sacrifice

The unit we are starting this weekend in Preschool Ministry is on Sacrifice. I sit here and ponder what the word sacrifice really means to me. I think it is so hard to “sacrifice” that piece of chocolate because it is not good for me. Or “sacrifice” buying that new outfit because I don’t need to spend the money right now. But that is not at all what “sacrifice” really is. As we talk about it with our children over the next three weeks, they will be learning the true meaning of “sacrifice.”

In the first two weeks, our children will learn how Moses was sent by God to tell Pharaoh to let His people go. Because of Pharaoh’s hard heart, he would not do so. God sent 10 plagues to try to change Pharaoh’s heart, but Pharaoh continued to say “no.” The children will be learning how God is holy and judges sin. They will also learn that when we disobey, we break our relationship with Him. What a powerful concept for our little ones to learn.

In the third week, our children will learn how Jesus is the sacrificial Lamb that was sent to “fix” our relationship with Him. All of God’s judgment for our sin was put on Jesus at the cross. WOW - that is true sacrifice! He was the perfect lamb without sin, but took on our sin so we could be made right with God.

As I go over this lesson, I am humbled by what God did for me. He took the punishment I deserve. He bore the pain I should bear. He died instead of me. God loves me so much that He did all that for me. He sacrificed EVERYTHING so that I may be made right with Him. Does my view of sacrifice and His view of sacrifice match up? No, not at all. I am challenged by this lesson. I want to be able to lay everything down and just trust Him. I want to be able to live out the fact that He is my substitute, and all I am, say, and do should glorify the sacrifice He made for me.

I ask you to walk alongside your children the next couple of weeks as they learn that they are sinners, and that because of their sin, their relationship with God is broken. I pray that they will realize (like we all have to) that the only way to “fix” this broken relationship is to believe that Jesus was the perfect sacrifice who died on the cross so that we may be made right with God and our relationship may be restored.

- Ivy White, Preschool Development Coordinator 


For more information about our preschool programming and curriculum, click here.

Let Your "Yes Be Yes" - And That Goes For Your Spouse, Too!

We all struggle with simply letting our "Yes" or "No" speak for themselves, but what if the words are not your own?! Let me expound...I get home from work recently and while upstairs with my 5-year old, he asks, "Dad, can I get a screwdriver out of your toolbox?" "Sure," I respond. I see no reason why not. My son runs happily downstairs to where the toolbox, and my wife, is. As he rumbles through the tools, I hear my wife say, "William, didn't Mommy say you couldn't play with Daddy's tools?"

I have been fooled. What to do? I am in a dilemma. I do not see any problem letting William play with my tools. It may be fun for us to work together. Why does my wife, his Mom, care? Of course, that is the same thought process William had when he posed his question to me. Whose side do I take?

In my opinion, one of the biggest blessing we can give a child is a home where Mom and Dad are One. And not just in God's eyes (all couples are One in God's eyes - check out the "One" series for further study), but in THE CHILD'S EYES; the child knows Mom and Dad stand by each other. Mom and Dad back each other up. Mom and Dad are together, no matter what. Mom and Dad side with each other...not with the child, not with a grandparent, but with each other. Do Mom and Dad always have to agree? No. That is impossible. But, ultimately, a child will thrive in an environment where Mom and Dad are supportive of one another first and foremost.

My son's trick is nothing new. I remember pulling it on my parents myself! And, you may be thinking, "What's the big deal?" The point is this: William was trying to go around his Mom's authority. If I do not stop him from going through the toolbox, EVEN if I don't have a problem with him playing with my tools, I have communicated to William that his Mom is not the authority. And that he can find ways to avoid submitting to her authority.

But, if I take the time and effort to uphold my wife's word, even if I may not agree with it, I communicate to my son where he stands in the home; namely, not in charge of it! Is it really that big of a deal? We have to remember the end goal.

Our goal is for our children to one day put themselves willingly under God's authority. As we parent them, we must do all we can to give them a loving, safe place to put themselves under our authority first. As they submit to our authority, they learn how to submit to God's authority. If the child sees that Mom and Dad are united in the everyday affairs of the family, even our "Yes's" and "No's," we create an environment they can trust. They know the boundaries. They can rest confidently in knowing their place in their home, and ultimately, in their world.

Support your spouse's word. Create an environment where a child has to put himself or herself under authority. My prayer is that putting themselves under God's authority, where the Trinity is ALWAYS unified, will be a natural response later in life.

- Will Bouton, Downtown Children's Ministry Director

Remembering the Big Picture

When I was asked to write a blog post, I was completely caught off guard. I had no idea what I was going to write about. I didn't think that I had anything to offer. I'm not in a relationship, nor do I have any children. I'm a twenty-one year old who spends all of her time working a part-time job and going to school full-time. All I pretty much do is work, study, and sleep. After I sat down and started to try and come up with something to write about, I was surprised, and then not really surprised, with what I came up with.

All of my time is literally dedicated to work and school, and the few free hours I found I spent on myself because I felt like I deserved those hours. That part wasn't so surprising. What was surprising is I was completely forgetting about something that's so much more important than school and work. And that's my relationship with God. Yes, I do go to adult worship on Sunday mornings, and yes, I go to community group on Sunday where I am also doing a Bible study. But in reality, my mind right now is so obsessed with my own personal life that I'm not even taking time to ask God for help through all of this. That I'm reading my psychology book instead of the Bible. God wants me to come to Him about everything, and I'm the one taking that and saying I can handle all of it, and I can control what goes on in my life, without even realizing that I'm doing it!

It's so easy, at least for me, to get caught up, obsessed with, and overwhelmed with what and how I want my life to turn out. With whatever season of life I'm in, whether it's getting married, getting a degree, or starting a family; I know that the number one thing that I need to do is trust in God, that He knows what He's doing, and that He is never going to give me something that I can't handle. I can make all the plans in the world, like right now I'm going to school to be a paramedic, but maybe that's not what God has planned for me. I'm going to have to be ok with that if it doesn't work out. I'm never going to know what or how things are going to change, and I know that I need to trust Him with those changes!

After writing this blog post, it has really opened my eyes to the big picture. I guess you could say that I got "tunnel vision" on what I thought were the major things going on in my life, and forgot about everything else. I thought that I had nothing to offer to anyone else, that I had nothing of importance to write about. I am now glad that I was asked to write a blog. It really made me take a look at myself, to take a step outside of my own personal bubble, and see the things that need to change! In the end, I did have something to offer and something of importance, but it was mainly for me!

- Jessica Hopkins, Preschool Administrative Assistant

When I Don't Feel Like It

One of the blogs that I have really enjoyed reading over the past year is Girl Talk. It's written by a mom and three grown daughters who write about biblical womanhood while sharing their real-life experiences of being wives and moms.

A post this week (Feb 22) really resonated with me. It's entitled, "When I Don't Feel Like It." Rather than summarizing it (it's not very long), check it out by following this link.

The last four months have had many "When I Don't Feel Like It" moments. They have been felt through tears, sickness, anxiety, and guilt. They have come through the joy of finding out we were expecting our second child and the excitement of becoming more involved in Children's Ministry at Grace by joining the staff part-time. The joy and excitement quickly moved to being very sick and overwhelmed by trying to balance work, being a wife, and a mom. There were at best a couple of good hours in the day to fit it all in, and many times those good hours were overshadowed by the tears, fears, anxiety, and guilt of not feeling like doing any of it.

After reading, "When I Don't Feel Like It," I can see where a lack of repentance for the fear and anxiety I was feeling ultimately just led to more! I was not relying on God for the emotional and physical strength to get a task done or to leave it undone without guilt.

The season of life I am in is wife, mother to a 3-year old, pregnant, friend, sister, daughter, volunteer, and part-time staff with Children's Ministry. Your season of life is probably different, but no doubt includes "When I Don't Feel Like It" moments.

Sometimes we need to do the task in our tears, anxiety, and guilt. Sometimes the next thing we need to do is take a break and rest in God's mercy. But regardless of what the next step is, I need to remember to repent of the fear, anxiety, and guilt, and trust in God. That's much easier for me to write about and reflect on that live out in the moment, but I pray that it is something God continues to lead me through.

- Betsy Zimmerman, Preschool Coordinator

Going Through the Motions

Check this out! Click here  Does this sound familiar to you? "I don't wanna go through the motions. I don't wanna go one more day without your all consuming passion inside of me. I don't wanna spend my whole life asking, 'What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?'" That's right! It's Matthew West's song, "The Motions." You've heard it on the radio hundreds of times. Lately, I've really been paying attention to the words of songs instead of just singing them, and these words really got my attention. I feel like they are applicable to so many aspects of our lives, which is great because they can reach just about everyone. An aspect that immediately comes to mind is your job.

Do you ever find yourself "going through the motions" at work? It's so easy to get caught up in the actual process of doing our job that we sometimes forget our purpose and what our job means...I know that I do. I do a lot of things dealing with numbers for our Children's Ministry, and I can easily fall into thinking these are mundane tasks dealing with just numbers; that my job has no real significance in spreading the Gospel. In reality, I am using the gifts God gave me to do just that. I am not the actual person teaching our children, but I am doing behind-the-scenes things to equip those teachers and to create an inviting environment for them.

495 is the number of copies I make for each Camp Grace activity. But, each piece of paper will eventually get into the hands of an elementary child, each with their own story and background, and will hopefully open their hearts to the Gospel. 979 is the number of kids we had in a recent weekend across all 3 campuses. That's almost 1000 kids! I did not personally influence each and every one of them, but that's 1000 kids that I had a part in giving them the opportunity to know more about our Lord Jesus. That is a lot of children and a lot of families, and we are just one church in one part of the world. Think about it for a minute...this is the future generation. We are equipping the future generation!

It's these things that are easy to overlook, but are most important. God has given everything and everyone a purpose. We need to seek Him out, and look at His amazing work. Let His passion inside of you so that it flows out in everything that you do. Ask yourself, "What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?"

- Nicole Snyder, Children's Ministry Administrative Assistant

Project Kenya

In just over a week, our Children's Ministry at Grace Church will be launching a 5-week initiative called PROJECT KENYA to raise money for needy families in Africa. If you didn't know already, God has developed a partnership between our church and Koinonia Baptist Church in Central Kenya. In this part of the world, there is a significant opportunity for us to share the wealth that God has given us. Using the currency of chickens, gardens, and goats, PROJECT KENYA will raise funds to purchase these sustainable living items for Kenyan families in need. This will not only provide food for families in need, but the opportunity to sell the produce from these things to bless others as well. Our goal is to raise $4000 in the next 5 weeks! We are excited to have something so practical and reachable for our children to invest in.

But in addition to being a practical way for our children and their families to get involved in what God is doing through our church, I am really excited about the opportunity families will have to experience real heart change. Based on Proverbs 3:9 (which says "Honor the Lord with your wealth"), our primary purpose is to help our children to see how much we have been given, and to teach them that we are called by God to share His resources with others. Common among all children (adults too!) is the struggle to be focused on self and not on others. It is my hope that this 5-week adventure will help our preschool and elementary children see that tendency in themselves and choose to focus on other families that have great need. As parents and children's ministry leaders, I believe that we can never teach enough about being focused on others and not on ourselves.

It is my great hope that this will serve our families at Grace Church with an opportunity to teach children the Biblical principles of God's provision, stewardship, and generosity. More than just another chance to write a check, I hope that moms and dads will seize the opportunity to start discussions around the dinner table and find teachable moments throughout the day.

And when this 5-week adventure comes to an end (and we send a nice check across the sea to help feed needy families in Kenya), my prayer is that a lasting impact has been made on the hearts of our children (and their parents). What would our lives look like if we truly believed that everything is the Lord's and not our own? What would be different if we saw our wealth primarily as a resource to bless others? Imagine if our dinner table conversations were seasoned with questions like "Where did you see Jesus today?", "Who has needs that we can pray for tonight?", and "What are some ways that we can give as a family so that others can be as blessed as we have been?"

Blessing to all of you parents out there who are learning to lead your children to Jesus everyday. Fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith! (2 Timothy 4:7)

- Ed Sweeny