Special Needs: Review

For those who missed it, here are a summary and links for the recent series on children with special needs.  We welcome any questions and feedback.

1. Overview to special needs ministry.  With more than 15 children in our church who have special needs, we knew that we need to ask God to help us discern what He wants from us.
2. Why are we focusing on special needs?  To give theology and direction to increasing number of families at Grace Church who have children with special needs.
3. What do we mean by "special needs?"  We consider a broad scope, from emotional and neurological disorders to physical disabilities.  
4. Important biblical principles.  Here, we highlight some things that God says about children, parents, and Himself. 
5. The role of the church.  Read about what we do to come alongside parents. 
6. The role of the parents.  Be intentional, have expectations, and preach the gospel.
7. Growing in the gospel.  Other things to consider, especially about marriage and personal growth.

Dad Life

Hilarious video from Church on the Move, in Tulsa, OK.  Enjoy!

If the video doesn't load, try this.

Vision for Preschool Small Groups

Our Preschool Ministry (from 2 year olds to kindergarten) is our largest program during our weekend services for all of Children's & Student Ministries.  On an average weekend, we have about 350 preschoolers in Small Groups on Saturday night & Sunday morning, counting all 6 services.  Being such a large population at Grace Church, and being such a crucial phase in a child's spiritual, emotional, social, and physical development, we recently spent some time discussing and outlining our goals and vision for our Preschool Small Groups.  Here are our thoughts.

Goals.  What do we want to accomplish through Preschool Small Groups?

1. To teach who God is.  The focus of our volunteer-written curriculum for this age group is the attributes of God, and we want to teach these Biblical truths in a fun and meaningful way.
2. To model community and the value of relationships.  We intentionally use the term "Small Groups" (instead of "Sunday School" or "classes") because we want to emphasize the importance of consistent relationships, whether between children themselves or with children and their Small Group Leaders.
3. To equip and assist parents and volunteers.  This is achieved through:
• Tools, such as this blog, take-home Parent Page, Volunteer Central website, and so on.
• Opportunities to serve, to use the resources and gifts that God has given them.
• Utilizing students as helpers, which is a way to equip two generations for a life in Christ.
• Shepherding, such as through our volunteer Coaching structure.
4. To provide a safe and secure environment where children feel comfortable and parents are free to attend adult worship without distractions.

Applications.  What are some ways we are working towards achieving these goals?

1. Teaching
• We have continued to develop and revise the template we use for our Small Group Lessons, to make it easy for volunteers to use.
• Adding additional activities to the lessons, to give the leaders more than enough material to help them engage their Small Group.
• We are exploring adding questions to the lessons that help connect Big Group and Small Group times.
• One area that we know that we need to develop is with two- and three-year-olds who stay for 2 services.  These children stay in the same classroom and do the same material, which can be a little monotonous at times.  It affects a small number of children (less than 20 each week), but an area that we want to give more attention to.
2. Community
• For most areas, especially on Sunday morning on the Pelham Road campus (where we have multiple small groups per age-group), we try to group children together based on if their parents are serving; this grouping helps with moving children to and from Quest.  Furthermore, the children who come more regularly (because, of course, their parents are regular) have the great opportunity to develop deeper relationships.
• We want to communicate with parents that there is a deep and lasting value in consistent community.  Of course, children cannot control how regularly they attend their programming; for the most part, parents control the development of their children's community.  For a child who stays for two services (because his parents serve) and attends almost every weekend, he will be with his "community" twice as long and twice as often as most of our adult community groups meet.
3. Equipping
• We are continually updating our Volunteer Central web page, which gives ministry descriptions and volunteer biographies from different people each month.
• We recently revised our Parent Page, to include a summary of the crafts and Big Group skit, to go along with the Small Group lesson summary.  
• We want to regularly update our iMix, to include recent songs we sing in our Preschool Big Group time. 
4. Safety
• We have developed and readily-available Safety Plans for all 3 campuses.
• We run background checks on our regular Small Group leaders, and last year we began to run national checks, not just local.
• We have staff and volunteer Coaches who check on the rooms during the service (we have windows next to each door in our buildings to allow full view of the classroom).  

 Thoughts or questions about our vision for our Preschool Small Groups?

God Speaks to Hannah

The other week, our daughter Hannah determined that she wanted to clean out a bunch of stuff from her room, to give to Goodwill.  Part of it was just for the sake of clearing out clutter, but she also wanted to give to others in order to be a blessing.  For example, I asked her if she wanted to give her Barbie set to a younger girl that she knows, and she asked "Does Goodwill help people?  Like when you buy things there, what do they do with the money?"  I said that I think they provide job training, so that people can have jobs and provide for their families.  She said that she'd rather the toys be sold so the money could help people.

By Tuesday evening, she had collected a laundry basket FULL of clothes, toys, and stuffed animals, and was planning to gather more on Wednesday morning.  Before breakfast on Wednesday, she and I were reading our Bibles (she joins me three days per week at the table, as she does her ROAD Map Bible study).  As soon as she read her verses for the day, she said, "Hey!  This is exactly what I've been doing!"  The verses were 2 Corinthians 9:6-7, which encourage us to give freely and generously, in order to bless others.

Hannah thought it was a neat coincidence that what she had already been doing (collecting things to give away) was what she read about (and she was happy to have an easy application for the day's reading).  I told her that I thought what happened was a big deal.  How?  I explained that I think that it was the Holy Spirit who had spoken directly to her heart days earlier, and that this reading confirmed that it really was something that God wanted her to do.  Sometimes when we have thoughts in our head, we may not always know if they are from us or from God.  For the majority of us, most of the clear direction we receive from God is from Scripture and from a community of believers, not from Him speaking directly to us.  I rejoiced with Hannah and encouraged her that God spoke to her heart, and that she obeyed, and then God confirmed His words to her.

I have shared with my children the few times in my life that I heard directly from God, when He wanted to give me specific direction.  These include:

• During the closing days of my athletic career at Furman, in a difficult losing season, I asked God, "Why should I continue working hard?  I basically all finished here."  Immediately, I heard a voice in my head saying, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men" (from Colossians 3:23).  I later discovered how God used my time on the team to be a testimony for Him to others.
• More than 10 years ago, I was serving in a ministry that required hours of work every single weekend (Saturday night and Sunday afternoon), and could often get very monotonous.  I asked one evening as I was cleaning up, "God, how much longer will I be doing this?"  I heard Him say, "Just pour yourself out.  This won't go on forever."  Within a year, that ministry opportunity was completed.
• Two years into my marriage, I felt like God was wanting something more from me, to be able to pour myself out for a short period of time.  The immediate thought was "Mission Trip," which I had always been set against me doing.  But I took steps of faith and God kept opening doors.  In March 2003, I went on my first overseas mission trip to Nicaragua, an experience that such a blessing for me.

Have you ever heard God speaking to you to give you specific direction, which you obeyed, and then it was confirmed later to be exactly what He wanted you to do?

--  Joey Espinosa

Is Your Son a Bully?

Here's another video of Bill White answering a question submitted at our Future Men event.  He explains that bullying is not leading; it is actually a form of passivity, which is the core struggle for all men.  We need to teach boys that "there is a greater reward . . . by engaging in a loving matter," not by being either passive or controlling. 

Watch the full video here, and see the other related videos here.

Thoughts from Elementary Camp - Part 2

In yesterday's post, we heard from our Elementary Coordinator (who makes Camp happen each year for 3rd & 4th graders).  For me, what I have enjoyed more and more over the past few Camps is the group of leaders that we have had.  This year, 26 men and women sacrificed a weekend's worth of time and sleep, in order to help reach the hearts of the next generation.  I saw them having fun with the kids, teaching Biblical truths, engaging kids on a heart level, and even addressing behavior issues clearly and directly.  I was especially thankful for the example that the men set; as Nicky pointed out yesterday, it is so crucial that men and boys take a leadership role.  I told our leaders that it was interesting that it was Father's Day weekend; the culture tells us that Father's Day is about being served and receiving gifts, but here were 26 leaders (dads, moms, and men and women without children of their own) who poured out for the sake of Christ's name.  That, in my opinion, is what Father's Day should be about.

Additionally, I love seeing how leaders from different campuses and services come together for one purpose.  It gives a chance for leaders to meet other leaders and connect, which helps to show that even with multiple campuses, we really are one church.

Here are quotes from some of the leaders (some of whom, like me, had a child at Camp) about their experience from this past weekend:

"[My son] has a much better understanding of Jesus as the "Substitute" for his punishment and only way to salvation. . . .  As his father, I can never tell you how much I appreciate what you have done to help my son get to this point in his young life."  Tim B., Worship Leader

"It was an honor and privilege to be part of ministering to those kids.  It was like a recharge for the soul."  Joe L., Small Group Leader

"I had an absolute blast with my girls! They loved worship time as well and it showed on their faces. . . .  Just like my girls, I wish we didn't have to wait a whole year to come back; however, that is part of what makes camp so special."  Kathe G., Small Group Leader

"The childrens worship was amazing this year!  My girls were practicing their moves to "Ain't No Rock" before bed on Saturday. . . .  Also, they were all hoping to get to sing "Prince of Peace" on Sunday and were talking about it before breakfast.  They were so excited when we sang it."  Tresh C., Small Group Leader

"I really enjoyed being a part of so much -- being in funny skits, catching frogs with boys, sitting under a tree and talking with a group of girls that I know from Quest."  Jeremy W., Small Group Leader

"I truly enjoyed being with the kids and getting to know quite a few of them.  I see many of them on Sunday morning, but don't have a lot of time to talk or even learn their names.  I felt like all of the adults really came together and were able to relate to one another."  Shylah P., Coach and Big Group

 "The girls in my cabin said their favorite part was small group time.  They all asked a lot of good questions, and they seemed to be soaking up a lot."  Maggie E., Small Group Leader

"I got to build community with other leaders. . . .  It was great to hang out with kids one-on-one."  Dan W., Small Group Leader

"First, it was great to see some of the kids really thinking about what we were talking about and asking really good questions. . . .  Second, I really enjoyed getting to know several of the counselors that I had not met or spent much time with before.  I did get the sense of "team" with the focused purpose of loving and shepherding these kids.  It reinforced the emphasis Grace puts on shepherding the next generation and the lasting impact that it will have."  Scott W., Small Group Leader

This was my first year as a "Camp Dad," as Hannah had her first camp experience.  I loved being able to see her be with her Sunday morning Small Group for 2 full days.  She enjoyed every bit of camp, which she has been anticipating for about 20 months now.  I asked her if it was as good as she expected, and she replied, "Better."  I'm thankful for the staff and volunteers that made this experience possible for her.

--  Joey Espinosa, Pastor of Children & Families

Thoughts from Elementary Camp - Part 1

99 kids. 26 leaders. 3 days, 2 nights.  Look Up Lodge.  This is how our 3rd & 4th grade Camp would look to anyone on the outside.  But for the 125 people who spent a weekend away at camp, they would have an entirely different perspective to describe to you today.  This was our first year going to Camp with over 100 people, with almost 40 more people than last year.  I wasn't sure what to expect, but I knew what there would be:  chaos, as there always is when you take a bunch of elementary-aged kids anywhere; energy, with our crazy camp competitions and skits; home-sickness, since it was most kids' first time away from home, and that children would be challenged in their faith, through the teaching that was given.

I did not know how great it would be to see our leaders come alongside these kids to encourage them to live as God wants them to live.  One concept that has been a focus at Grace is how God created us to be male and female -- equal but unique.  I saw it played out at Camp in how our leaders connected with the kids.  For examples, the boys were told to allow the girls to go first at each meal, not because of common courtesy, but because this was an opportunity for them to lead through sacrifice.  On the other side, the girls were told to not rub it in the boys' faces that they went first, but to respond with respect and thankfulness.  I think incorporating this kind of language at an early age is huge in encouraging kids to learn how to express the masculinity and femininity in the way God created us.

Another thing I did not expect was how much the boys were engaged during the Big Group time, as they sang loudly and did the motions.  Many of the boys were at the front of group.  Normally at this age, boys tend to fall back and disengage during worship time because they feel too old or "cool" to do the motions.  But, rather than being passive, our boys were leading through responding to God in song.

Lastly, I did not know just how powerful the teaching would be. Our two teachers, Brian Darnell and Stephen Fowler, were clear and direct in talking to the kids about our condition before God and need for a Savior (our "Substitute").  During our last Big Group session, Tim Bosier (who led worship) told the kids how he wished he would have received this teaching when he was their age, since it would have changed a lot of the decisions he made in life.  I completely agree with him.

I'm constantly amazed at the teaching and resources that Grace Church's children and students receive; growing up, I had nothing even remotely close to anything these kids are learning about.  We are blessed
in that our children receive teaching that is not sugar-coated or watered-down, but that gets to the heart of the Gospel and how God created them to live, so that they can live a passionate life for Christ.  I truly believe that our pursuit to equip our kids to become mature followers of Christ is producing life change in a generation that has the ability to change the world around them.  It's pretty neat to look back at Elementary Camp this past weekend and know that it is just one way that Grace Church is ministering to children and leading them to live a life worthy of the Gospel.

--  Nicky Darling, Elementary Coordinator