Childishness Versus Foolishness

The following post was written by Molly Burns, our Saturday Night Coordinator for Children's Ministry.  Can you give another example of how you've had to differentiate between childishness and foolishness?  Share with others by leaving a comment below.

The Crime: Spilled milk 
The Defendant, Self-Representing:  Quirky 7-year-old girl, missing one tooth 
The Prosecutor: Frazzled and time-crunched mom
The Scene:  Weeknight dinner prep time.  Quirky 7-year-old girl trying to make  setting the table more enjoyable by reenacting "Whistle While You Work" scene from Snow White.  Dancing inevitable.  Liquid spills also inevitable.  Milk all over table, chairs, floor, and quirky 7-year-old's favorite mismatched outfit.  Mom's reaction, typical:  "How many times do I have to tell you . . ."

I can't make this stuff up.  This is my house, and yours too, if you are being honest.  So how can I as a parent change my typical reaction of exasperation and frustration to patient, understanding and discerning?  Is it even possible for my typical reaction to be loving instead of annoyed?  In these moments I find myself questioning and doubting how I should lead my children:  How can I keep from driving us all bonkers repeating myself over and over?  As her parent, how do I know if this is a time for warning her and explaining cause and effect, or a time for consequence? 

Our 7-year-old daughter asked us recently, "Why do you say that I did something 'childish,' when I am a child and isn't everything I do going to be childish?"  My husband explained to her that there were two different ways she can act out of her own nature: childishly and foolishly.  When she is childish, she is doing something because of a lack of understanding or knowledge.  When she acts foolishly, she is doing something she knows she should not be doing, but chooses her way despite her understanding of the expectations.  When she made the mess at dinner, was she being childish or foolish? 

I have read childishness described as "innocent immaturity" (Ezzo), along with non-malicious or non-rebellious behavior, and as Ginger Plowman says in Don't Make Me Count to Three, an "accidental mistake."  Foolishness is a heart issue, a child that in their heart doesn't want to do right.  There are sinful motives and rebellion in a foolish act.  Let's return to the scene of the crime and look at it through the lens of childish vs. foolish.  She was not malicious when she spilled the milk.  My little rule-follower would never purposefully spill milk and make a mess.  But for some reason, I felt like she was not being entirely childish, ether.  I had warned her before about not having self-control while doing certain things because it shows a lack of concern for others.  In her Snow White reenactment, she was displaying what Reb Miller calls "thoughtless disobedience."  Plowman cuts to the chase:  "Childishness becomes foolishness when the child has been given clear instructions and understands those instructions but chooses to disobey." 

Ah ha!  There it is!  I have told her before what happens when she is not paying attention to what she's doing, and explained to her that the next time she does not pay attention, there will be a consequence.  Although her Snow White impression was dead on, and very endearing, she was being foolish as she danced around the table while doing her chore because I had warned her before to do her part without being silly, so that something or someone didn't get hurt.  She was foolish because she was self-focused (Making her taks pleasant) and not others-focused (serving our family by helping prepare for dinner). 

If I filter my children's actions through the lens of childishness versus foolishness, it helps me decide which call to make while I am training them to be mature followers of Christ, as I help them understand what it looks like to deny themselves and responsibly serve others.  And the bonus is that I don't have to repeat myself over and over to the point of frustration and anger that can turn me into the wicked witch.  And we can all live happily ever after. 

Engage the World

This past weekend, we had high school students from Grace Church present in our Camp Grace (1st - 4th grade) programming, about the mission trips they were involved with this past summer. These high schoolers talked about why they went on the trip, what they did, and how God grew them through this experience. They shared stories and pictures, to help the campers connect with what God did.

Why have we done this over the past few years?  For one, it helps adults, students, and children see that we are one church with a unified mission to spread the Gospel.  Second, it is a great opportunity for these students to be leaders and to be able to share what they did.  Third, this has helped our elementary-age kids grow in Christ.  We want them to grow up thinking that it's perfectly normal to go to another culture in order to demonstrate God's love through their actions and words.  (In fact, we timed this presentation to coincide with us beginning our study of the New Testament.  We learned about John the Baptist, and we feel that we are all called to tell others about Jesus, just like John the Baptist did.)

If you have a child in our Camp Grace programming, be sure to talk with them about what they learned.  Also, consider what it would look like for you to go on a mission trip (see our Culturally-Engaged webpage).  It is great when a child can hear about someone else doing missions work, but if you go, it brings it home to a much more personal level, even for them. 

To learn more about Grace Student Ministry, see their website.

Categories

In this article on the Student Ministry blog, Leah Pinckney (Fusion Director) talks about the positives and dangers about putting people into categories.  But she reminds us that we are all in the category of being "broken and in need of a Savior."

She also discusses more specifically the category of students with "special needs."  Here is an excerpt:

"As I think through how to love students with special needs, how to meet them where they are and push them towards Jesus, I see all over again how much our body of students need to be in community with people in different categories.  We need those with special needs to be a part of our body.  We, as a body, need to be more mindful of how to adjust the way we do things to help grow those that our “different”, whether it’s someone who is categorized with special needs, someone who is weak or someone who is just outside the category that the majority fit into. . . .

"Our student ministry at Grace Church desires to integrate those with special needs into our body.  We believe that God has a specific role for them to play within our student ministry, just as every other student does.  We desire to push them to pursue God, connect with the church and engage the world by meeting them where they are and equipping them to know and love the gospel."

Read the entire article here.

Why Gender & Sexuality Matter

In our Preschool programming, we are in the midst of our series on God is Relational, as we teach about Adam and Eve (see this post about the leader preparation material).  Grace Church has been teaching more and more about biblical masculinity (see this blog post, for example) and femininity (we have been developing and rolling out some newly-developed curriculum, in stages).

Here is another blog post on why gender and sexuality matter, on The Resurgence blog.  Some key points:

• "God does not create a generic human being and then add gender; rather, he creates a human being either as a male person or as a female person."
• "[M]en and women should be thankful for the gender with which God created them. . . .  Gender differences should be celebrated."
• "[T]he biblical portrait is that marriage is between a man and a woman who commit themselves to living in a monogamous relationship.  Sexual intercourse is to be enjoyed within the bounds of this covenantal framework and is designed for several purposes, including pleasure, procreation, a guard against immorality, and unity."

Read the full article here.

Glitter, Glue, & Goldfish

You are one of the hundreds of Children's Ministry volunteers, and you feel like you do the same thing every weekend.  You enter your room, pull out the crafts and goldfish crackers, and try your best to keep the kids' attention.  For the whole service time you feel like you're maintaining order, picking up smashed goldfish, and drying tears.

Some weekends are good; some are so repetitious that you wonder if you're making a difference in the kids' lives.  Do you feel like any of this really matters to God, or do you feel like you're just surviving away the weekends until you get to heaven?  Does God actually care about glitter, glue, and goldfish?

Actually, He does.  Very much.  In our Preschool programming, we have recently studied how God is Creator, and now are learning about how God created man and woman in His image.  As I was preparing for these units, I was reminded of who our Creator is, how we were created, and what our response should be.

• Genesis 1:1 --> God creates.  Light splits the darkness, order emerges, and it is good.  We have an energetic, creative, ordering God.
• Genesis 1:26-27 --> God makes man in His image.  We are made in the image of a creative, ordering God.  Humanity is given a mandate:  take dominion over the earth, cultivate it, take care of it.  We are to imitate our creative, ordering God.

Here is the connection to glitter, glue and goldfish.  When we serve, create, and keep order in our classrooms, we are imitating our God.  God loves to see His creatures imitating Him.  You're not just "babysitting" the kids; you are fulfilling the creation mandate (command), which pleases God.  You're not merely doing crafts; you're actually imitating the creativity of God.

When we imitate God in front of the kids, we are setting a model for them to follow.  Greater things are at stake than smashed goldfish and soggy diapers.  The glory of God is at stake.

Remember, dear volunteer, that each weekend you serve isn't just another weekend.  It's an opportunity.  It's an opportunity to imitate and glorify our God, our Creator.  Don't waste it!

-- Val Gutschow, Children's Ministry Coordinator

Yom Kippur

This article from Justin Holcomb helps explain the relevance of Yom Kippur (which begins this evening) to the Christian faith. 

 “Yom Kippur is also known as the Day of Atonement, which is the climax of the Old Testament sacrificial system and is the most solemn day on the Jewish Calendar. . . .  The Day of Atonement was a foreshadowing of Jesus, the lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world, and our great High Priest who is able to sympathize with us in our weakness. These great images of the priest, slaughter, and scapegoat are all given by God to helps us more fully comprehend Jesus’ bloody sacrifice for us on the cross.”

You can also read our post from last year.  Yes, we know that both of these articles are from last year.  But do you think that a 3500 year old holiday has changed much in the past 12 months?

Questions About Children's Ministry?

We have recently updated our FAQ's page on our website.  There are some questions that can help new guests, as well as long-time members.  You will see answers to such questions as:

• "How do I check my child in?"
• "What if I need to be contacted during the service?"
• "What security measures do you have in place to provide for my child's safety?"

Read about these questions and more here.  Also, let us know if you have any other questions by leaving a comment here, or by emailing us at children@gracechurchsc.org.