One of the blogs that I have really enjoyed reading over the past year is Girl Talk. It's written by a mom and three grown daughters who write about biblical womanhood while sharing their real-life experiences of being wives and moms.
A post this week (Feb 22) really resonated with me. It's entitled, "When I Don't Feel Like It." Rather than summarizing it (it's not very long), check it out by following this link.
The last four months have had many "When I Don't Feel Like It" moments. They have been felt through tears, sickness, anxiety, and guilt. They have come through the joy of finding out we were expecting our second child and the excitement of becoming more involved in Children's Ministry at Grace by joining the staff part-time. The joy and excitement quickly moved to being very sick and overwhelmed by trying to balance work, being a wife, and a mom. There were at best a couple of good hours in the day to fit it all in, and many times those good hours were overshadowed by the tears, fears, anxiety, and guilt of not feeling like doing any of it.
After reading, "When I Don't Feel Like It," I can see where a lack of repentance for the fear and anxiety I was feeling ultimately just led to more! I was not relying on God for the emotional and physical strength to get a task done or to leave it undone without guilt.
The season of life I am in is wife, mother to a 3-year old, pregnant, friend, sister, daughter, volunteer, and part-time staff with Children's Ministry. Your season of life is probably different, but no doubt includes "When I Don't Feel Like It" moments.
Sometimes we need to do the task in our tears, anxiety, and guilt. Sometimes the next thing we need to do is take a break and rest in God's mercy. But regardless of what the next step is, I need to remember to repent of the fear, anxiety, and guilt, and trust in God. That's much easier for me to write about and reflect on that live out in the moment, but I pray that it is something God continues to lead me through.
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