Daddy Daughter Dance

Our world today is sending messages to our young women that are tragically far from the truth.  Beauty is defined only as what you see on the outside, and self-promotion is hailed as the way to get what you want out of life.  Fathers are equally confused about how to lead our growing daughters with strength and how to protect their hearts from the voices that threaten their unique feminine design.  Men's Roundtable is hosting an event that will give dads and daughters alike an opportunity to enjoy one another and be reminded of the beauty of God's design for each of us. 

This year's 4th Annual Daddy Daughter Dance promises to be a night to remember!  It is a perfect opportunity for dads to date their daughters and set the bar high for the future.  Dads are encouraged to start the night off right on a dinner date with your special girl (or girls), then finish strong with desserts and dancing at 7:00 PM at Larkin's Sawmill (directions).  Email us any questions you have and let us know how we can make this night perfect for you and your daughters.  And please feel free to invite anyone you think may be interested in joining us.  Can't wait to see you there!


Register online at www.mensroundtable.org/daddy-daughter-dance-2012.

Come join us at a new location:

Larkin's Sawmill at North Main
Friday, April 27th, 2012
Dance starts at 7pm

The Beauty of Her Heart

One of the things that I have found to be challenging in raising a future women is teaching and training a healthy view of beauty.  Since a very young age comments have been made by very well-meaning people about my daughter's appearance.  Things like:  “You are such a pretty girl”, “She is so cute”, “What a cute bow”.  Yes, she is cute but that isn’t the thing I want her to focus on.   Proverbs 21:30 says  Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain,   But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.  As a mom, I want to focus on characteristics that will remain.

In the Ezer curriculum, we read that God creates women with a unique capacity to reflect His beauty and invite delight. 

“When we come to the nature of femininity, we find that God’s writing is not just in the sky, on the earth, and under the sea, but all the way down to the female DNA. Biblical femininity is uniquely designed to reflect God’s heart of invitation.  Women give voice at an essential level to God’s yearning desire to promote delight, welcome refuge, and catch the eye towards beauty.  Something about her person-hood is stamped with a desire to be looked upon with delight.  This can turn in on itself and become vanity, self-worship, or even exploited.  Nevertheless, in its original creation and redeemed condition, the inviting impulse beats right from the heart of its Creator - God.”

In an attempt to help teach balance to this topic, our family has used the following concrete, hands-on activity to start a dialogue around beauty and its right place in a girl or women’s life.

Admire the beauty created by God

Start with a heart shaped vase, filled with pretty cut flowers.  Admire the flower’s beauty, talk about how they are created by God to be beautiful.  Enjoy the way they add delight to the day, appreciate God’s workmanship in them. 

Recognize that the beauty fades

After the beauty has faded away, the heart remains

As the flowers continue to die and fade, take about Proverbs 31:30 and how beauty fades.  It will be evident to show how the flowers are not the same as they were and that this is true about our beauty.  Once the flowers die, the heart shape vase will be all that remains.  It will be a concrete way to share that we want to focus on the heart, we desire to appreciate that God has created us to reflect His beauty.  We should have a healthy respect that we are His workmanship, we were created by Him.  But that we should not allow it to become an idol, that we value our appearance over our heart.    

Enjoy this Valentine’s Day with your daughter.  Celebrate the beauty around you and remember to focus on her heart and her unique capacity to reflect God in a way that is uniquely feminine and uniquely hers.

- Lee Anne Cavin, Children's Ministry Director

Future Women Conference: One Dad's Reflection

This past weekend, my wife and I attended the Future Women Conference along with almost 500 other parents, grandparents, and ministry leaders. Like most parents, we are not just looking to raise “good kids” who do not get into trouble, or even ones that know lots of answers to Bible questions. Instead we want to parent them in a Gospel-centered way that equips them to evaluate their own hearts, their relationships, and their culture in light of who God is and who we are in relationship to Him.

As a father, I also realize that I am accountable for how I shepherd my family. I did not grow up in a family or culture that thought this way, and it is a life-changing experience for me to be a part of a community that takes equipping the next generation, seriously. That all sounds lofty and altruistic as I write it, and in practice it is work...which requires a lot of thought and creativity in the moment. Sometimes I feel like I do that well, and other times I fail miserably.

There were several great take-aways from the conference, but one of the most significant “ah ha” moments for me came when Ed Sweeny said we need to take time to say “yes” to our children. I have felt that before, but could not have put words to it. There are days that I feel like all I say is “no,” followed by discipline, followed by more sayings of “no,” with a few “you know you are not allowed to do that” comments sprinkled in. I knew something did not feel right about that as it was happening, but if you asked, I could not tell you what it was. All I knew was it felt like I was beginning to exasperate them (Colossians 3:21), but did not know how to fix it.

Saying “no” is easy...especially for Dad. We carry a lot of weight, we are tired, we are also (thanks to the fall) predisposed to be passive, feel free to fill in your favorite excuse here. I realize as I am typing this that the days I am most short-tempered and most likely to be agitated are the days that I am least engaged with my children. It takes time and effort to say “yes.” It means I am going to have to close the laptop, not finish that email just yet, turn off the TV, and engage. I will have to ask questions, listen to the answers, and ask follow-up questions. Sometimes it is as simple as getting off of the couch and laying in the floor for 30 minutes while they use me as their trampoline.

“Yes” requires thought and creativity. It requires time and effort. It requires my best when I am feeling my worst. It requires me to evaluate the request and redirect it in a better direction.

Is “yes” always the right answer? No. But “no” is easy and I use it way too much.

- Rob Allen, Children's Ministry Staff

For more information about Men's Roundtable, click the image below.

 

Future Women Conference: One Mom's Reflection

Several hours after our daughter was born six years ago, my husband looks at me and says, “This one is different.” We’d had a whole year and a half of parenting a calm, compliant, easy-going little boy, and realized early on that this “sweet little girl” was going to be a whole new ball game.

So, when Grace announced they were hosting a Future Women Parenting conference, you can bet we were the first ones to sign up. Teach me how to raise a kind, loving, thoughtful girl? A teenage girl that will dress modestly, won’t gossip, or be mean to her “friends”? A teenager we will actually like? Yes, please, I would like the recipe for that.

I wanted to know exactly what to say when my 5-year old comes home from school and says, “Mom, I don’t like playing with Suzie because I don’t think she’s as pretty as Sally.” I needed answers.

And, honestly, I didn’t get all my questions answered with a simple, one size fits all answer. But, here’s what I did get:

• We need to first understand and embrace femininity as it was created by God. Only then can we parent our girls with purpose and direction.
• Our girls have been hard-wired by God to be relational. “Femininity is uniquely suited to find and meet need in the context of relationship.” It’s why, when they are playing with matchbox cars, my son will race them and fight with them, and my daughter names them and makes them into families. God created that, and it is good. I need to remember this when she is 12 and wants to text with her friends all day long.
• Modesty is about displaying your femininity in appropriate ways. I’m not exactly sure what to do with this, but it’s the best definition of modesty I’ve ever heard. And I’m guessing that’s going to be a big issue for us in a few short years.
• Her core sin is autonomy. It’s why she asks me (often), “Mom, why does DAD have to be in charge of our family?” And how important it is for me to answer her clearly and fully, and often. And know that she’s not just asking that out of curiosity. There is a sinful, rebellious heart inside her that wants to be in control of EVERYTHING.

So, maybe I didn’t get all the answers I was looking for. But, if I did, would I really need God as much? Would I look to Him, as the creator and author of my daughter’s story for help? Would I ask Him for wisdom in raising my daughter?

Maybe, I got more answers than I realized. Maybe, you did too.

- Braeton Beres, Children's Ministry Staff 

For more information about Ezer, click the image below. 

 

Register Now for Future Women!

 

Don't miss out on your opportunity to attend our Future Women Conference and become equipped with a theology, language, and practical application of what it looks like to raise the next generation of women!

Registration closes Wednesday, November 2nd, at 5:00pm!

Click here to register.

We have over 300 people signed up for far! Thank you to everyone who has signed up!

Future Women Conference

On November 4th & 5th, we will be hosting the Future Women Conference. We will be providing a language, theology, and practical application for what it looks like to raise the next generation of women. This conference is for anyone who is involved in some capacity with raising girls to learn what it means to reflect God in His image as a women, through the core capacities of nurturing, partnering, and inviting. We encourage all parents, grandparents, teachers, and leaders of girls and young ladies to attend this event.

Register for this event on our Future Women page.

Future Men, Future Women

Two years ago, in October 2009, we hosted an event called Future Men. This event provided a language, theology, and practical applications of what it looks like to raise up the next generation of men. We had almost 400 parents, grandparents, and leaders attend. 

From our Men's Roundtable teaching, we taught the Biblical definition of manhood to be...

A real man is one who rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects God's reward.

We also walked through 3 main stages of going from boys to men:

1. Authority. God's authority needs to be established, as well as the authority He's delegated to parents, teachers, and other leaders. When an authority tells a child to "do this," he needs to be taught to obey quickly, completely, and happily.
2. Responsibility. During this stage, your son needs to learn to "handle his deal." He needs to be challenged and respected.
3. Partnership. By this stage, you are no longer standing over your son, but you are standing alongside him.

You can view several video discussions that emerged from this event on our YouTube channel (search "Future Men") Several that might be of interest to you:

• Developing Leadership in Boys
• My Child Respects Our Authority But Not Others?

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Coming up on November 4th & 5th, we will be hosting the sister event to Future Men, appropriately called Future Women. Here, we will be walking through the language, theology, and practical applications of what it looks like to raise up the next generation of women. We encourage all parents, grandparents, and leaders of girls and young women to attend this event. Save the date, and stay tuned for more information about this event!