Thursday, May 20, 2010

What Did You Expect??

I'm about halfway through Paul David Tripp's new book on marriage, "What Did You Expect??" There is enough theology, principles, and application in the first chapter alone to help you rethink and improve your marriage.  Too often, relationships are formed and centered around each person's expectations and presuppositions.  The ignore the fact that they are sinners living in a fallen world.  Even worse, they forget that God is faithful, powerful, and willing enough to want the best for our marriages.

But the key issue, I think, is that both men and women think marriage is about achieving happiness.  In the worst case, people expect marriage to make themselves happy, but it is just as wrong to think marriage is about making your spouse happy.  Don't get me wrong -- it's not that God doesn't want me or my wife to be happy; it's just that He is much more concerned about my holiness than my happiness.

Above all else, God wants me to worship Him.  He wants my marriage to reflect His nature and glory, and He is using my marriage to expose my sin issues and to make me more like His Son Jesus Christ.  He is not satisfied with helping me a little; He wants to change my heart. 

What does worshiping God have to do with marriage?  Tripp writes,
"Marriages are fixed vertically before they are ever fixed horizontally. . . .  When God is in his rightful place, then we are on the way to putting people in their rightful place." 

For additional thoughts on this book, you can read book reviews by Scott Freeman (on the Grace Church Pastors Blog) and by Justin Taylor (on The Gospel Coalition). 

--  Joey Espinosa

1 comment:

  1. Mark Driscoll talks a lot about relationships and marriage. He says basically the same thing. Marriage is about holiness, not happiness because, as he puts it, sinner + sinner ≠ less sin.